I remember going to the nurse’s office in grade school, as a class, to be weighed, and get our height. I suppose this was for the school health records? They were teaching us how to eat healthy and take good care of our bodies. I remember specifically learning about the food pyramid. I also remember specifically learning that my weight was more than any of my girl friends. All of the kids were asking one another, “How tall are YOU?” or “How much do YOU weigh?” This was the first time I was aware that I weighed more than any of my friends. (maybe 10 pounds?) I had never thought about it before. I hadn’t noticed our differences. If I had, it hadn’t mattered. But it did now. I remember feeling embarrassed. I remember feeling bad about myself for the first time. I felt like I wasn’t as good as everyone else. I felt ashamed. I had never felt that way until we all shared our numbers. I didn’t know it the day before we were weighed, when I thought I was just like everyone else, but now, because of the numbers, I knew. I was different. I was the only one. I was fat.
That was a really long time ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. I wish I would have been able to really express my feelings then to my parents so they could have assured me I was a normal healthy kid, and the number was just that, a number.
I let that number, high or low, define me for a really long time. It feels good to let that go.
High or low, don’t let the “number” define you.
“love the life you live, live the life you love”