Obstacles! Solutions!

May 31, 2012

I have blogged numerous times about my two biggest obstacles on my weight loss journey.

1. Anxiety……then eating to deal with it.

2. Socializing……..too often I am out having a Grand Old Time! 🙂

I am doing much better with the anxiety, but still working on the socializing. I have made a couple of rules for myself to follow. I try my best!

1. Drink one time a week.

2. When I do drink, keep within the points allowed for the week.

I am getting much better at following my own rule, and I must say it is getting easier. Once in a while, people will question why I’m not drinking, but for the most part, nobody really seems to notice. I am so open about WW and my long term weight loss plan, that most of the people I spend time with on a regular basis know why I turn down an adult beverage, and don’t bother discussing it. If it is a topic, I am fine with discussing it, but sometimes I wonder if friends are so sick and tired of me talking about WW, they wish I would just drink my water and shut up! I totally understand. So, sometimes I try to be very subtle about it. But trust me, when others are enjoying a beverage, and I decline, it’s a VERY……BIG……DEAL.

Here is today’s “situation” as I recall. The story below is paraphrased to the best of my knowledge.

Today I went to lunch with a group of girlfriends to celebrate a friends birthday. The lunch was at 11:30 a.m. I ate egg whites around 9:30 a.m. so I would have a little something in my stomach, but have plenty of points to be able to enjoy a nice lunch, and still have points for a reasonable dinner. The BIG weigh in is tomorrow and I am not feeling as good about it as I was on Monday. It’s all about the planning. And to be successful, you really have to plan! I assumed I would order salmon of some kind for lunch. It’s a favorite! I knew I would pass on drinks if offered. When I have a plan, it’s much easier. “No” is also getting easier…….most days.

I arrived at the restaurant after about four others had arrived, four more were on their way. There was a pitcher of Sangria on the table. The waiter came over.

Waiter……”Would you like a glass of Sangria?”
Me……”No, thank you.”
Waiter…..”would you like a nice Pinot?”
Me…..”No, thank you. I’ll just have a glass of water, please.”

I love to eat out! I love having a short term relationship with the wait staff! It’s part of the experience for me. I love tipping! I love the whole damn thing!

I sensed a little frustration in his face, and possibly saw an eye roll, which immediately irritated me and I felt everyone at the table sensed his frustration, then MY irritability! Maybe it was all in my head? It was strange. I felt my face get a little red. I took a deep breathe, and let it go. I think I just wanted a drink!! No big deal. No big deal to anyone else. The waiter comes back with a glass of wine that someone had ordered.

Me……”Could I please have a cup of coffee?” it’s my go to drink when all others are drinking.
Waiter……..”Would you like Baileys in that, or Grand Marnier?”

Now I’m thinking, geeeezzzzz guy, seriously? Let it go! I’m NOT DRINKING!! So, in good humor, and trying to not make a big deal………

“If it’s zero calories, sure! Bring me some Baileys with that!”

How many times can a girl politely say no, while she’s on her period, without punching a guy right where it counts???

Waiter……..”Coffee has calories.”
Me…….”No. I don’t think so?”
Waiter……….”Anything that dark, has calories”.
Me…..thinking……please go away so my friends and I can enjoy our lunch. You have now become extremely annoying.

Now, I don’t know if he’s just trying to be funny, get a good tip, rack up a high bill so he CAN get a good tip, make friends, or what? But he was really messing with my mood, and I felt so put on the spot. Now all of the our friends are there, and I wanted my girlfriend to enjoy her lunch, so I was refraining BIG TIME!

Me……..”I would just like some coffee, please.”

He brings my coffee. The table had gotten a little crowded and we were handing him things not needed on the table. I handed him my wine glass…….

Waiter….. “I’m just going to leave it there for you and make it really hard for you to turn down a drink”

I felt my heart jump into cardiac arrest mode, my face got hot immediately, and with great restraint, I turned around, looked at him.

Me……. “I have politely said no to you several times, and you are making this very difficult for me and you are making me very uncomfortable.”

Someone at the table commented on my red face. I apologized, but thought I told the guy as kindly as I could to please stop. It was just weird, but a perfect example of how a complete stranger can make saying “no” so damn difficult. I could have easily caved and said, “Well, okay!”, then been frustrated with myself later.

Shots were ordered. I drank it. No regrets. It was small. Not frustrated.

He was quite and unfriendly the rest of the lunch! I wasn’t sure if it was just me or what?? Did I mention I’m ON MY PERIOD???

I found out later that others were unimpressed with the waiter, and they had commented on how odd he was before I even arrived.

I did call the restaurant and complain to the manager. I didn’t want a refund or a complimentary anything. However, I was kind of irritated that I did go ahead and tip the guy 20%. I just wanted the waiter to be told his behavior was inappropriate. I explained to the manager that in a social situation where others are drinking, and someone declines, this could be very personal and very difficult. The respectful thing as a waiter to do, would be to accept whatever they order without question. Waiter Class 101! Hello!! There could be a number of reasons why. It could be dietary, or it could be a recovering alcoholic, it could be due to medication. Who cares the reason. The situation needed to be respected, not insulted.

WHEW! Glad I got that off my chest!

Obstacles! Solutions! It can all be exhausting!

Happy Birthday Amy! I love you!

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

julesfarm@yahoo.com

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2 responses to Obstacles! Solutions!

  1. I’m certain I have over exaggerated. But he did offer that many times, and it just got to me. I think saying no the first time yesterday was difficult for some reason, and he just didn’t help. But I am glad I made the phone call. Funny, not funny, rude, not rude, his insistence was not appreciated.

  2. That waiter ought to be fired. I cannot believe you had that experience. I’m glad you told the manager, I would have been fuming! I understand the respect for your friend’s event and wanting to be nice and all, but that guy needs a talking-to. I’m glad you told him that he was making it difficult. What if you did drink, and then god forbid, you hit someone on the way home? I think he would bear some responsibility in that. If you ever get seated in his section again I would get up and change tables. Man, I’m pissed for you!!! Way to handle a very difficult situation! You’re a Rock Star!