Deep Thought Friday……(on Saturday morning)

September 22, 2012

These are the things that have been super heavy on my mind for the last two weeks……….please feel free to either……..

A. Put your feet up, grab a beverage of your choice, and read on.

B. Close your browser now. I completely understand.

How am I staying motivated?
Where Am I in my journey?
How is Walking Club Doing?
How did I do with the Online Bootcamp?
What is my current exercise routine?
Do I have a plan for future recipe post?
How do I plan to put more thought into EACH meal and snack?
Did I “Fall off the Wagon?”?
What do I expect to get out of my blog?

HOW AM I STAYING MOTIVATED?

I said when I joined WW for the fifth or six time (could be more), that this time I would never quit. I knew when I reached my goal weight, I would continue to go to meetings as long as WW exist. It would be a part of my life. I was losing the weight for my health, not for my jean size. Then, in between jobs, and going through some feelings of inadequacy, I decided becoming a WW leader would be the perfect job for me! I would enjoy the social part of the job and the opportunity to always be meeting interesting people, I would be helping others in achieving their goals in living healthier lifestyles, and I would constantly be surrounded by like minded people. I knew it would help me to be in an environment where I was constantly conscious of my health and my weight. So, the motivation for a job where I will be helping others, and keeping healthy myself, is the biggest motivator for me to never quit. Becoming a WW Leader is what is keeping me, personally, motivated.

WHERE AM I IN MY JOURNEY?

Physically?

My official beginning weight when I joined WW in 2009, was 207.4. I am pretty sure I had gotten up to 212! My last weigh in was 167.4 (Sept. 22). I seem to lose 10 pounds at a time, V E R Y S L O W L Y. I was stuck in the 170’s forever! I finally made it to the 160’s in June. Now, three months later, I seem to be going back and forth between 165 and 168. I will be giddy to just see 164! It’s literally a “one pound at a time” celebration at this point.

Habitually?

Along my journey, I have realized that I have many trigger foods. Trigger foods are those foods that you find it hard to enjoy only one portion of. I have learned to not keep those foods in the house. I have the most successful weeks when I either do not have those foods in my home, or if I do, I keep them out of sight. (Usually when they are out of sight, I forget they are even in the house.)

I rarely eat fast food. If I am out and about, and mealtime unexpectedly arrives, I will opt for a grocery store salad bar.

I eat breakfast 99.9% of the time, and I always include some sort of protein.

I ALWAYS drink my water.

I eat out of boredom in the afternoons when I am home alone. It’s the time of the day that I struggle with the most. From 3:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. I could eat the HOUSE! I have decided this stems from eating out of boredom as a child after school when I was home alone. I remember my brother calling me fat, and I believe that’s when I began closet eating in the afternoons. I do eat when I feel anxiety and I am alone. I try now to either leave the house and take a drive, or I get myself busy doing something outside. When worse comes to worse, I set a timer for 5 minutes. While the clock is ticking, I convince myself there is no need to eat out of anxiety, I try to figure out what has got me worked up, and what can I do about it, I remind myself that if I go over on my points for the day, I am just going to be frustrated with myself. This actually usually works. Occasionally I give in and eat something after the timer goes off anyway. This is when I know its a good idea that I’ve decided to no longer buy chips or crackers. 🙂

Mentally?

Honestly? I get frustrated a lot. I find that on occasion, I just feel the need to take a break, so I slack off for a few days. I know I need to do the things that I am doing not only to lose weight, but also to maintain my weight loss forever. I remind myself of all of the reasons that I decided to take this journey in the first place, and I get back in the game. I rarely miss a WW meeting. They are a huge part of my Journey, and I truly love my meetings. I could not ask for a more supportive husband in Mike. He gives me the best pep talks, always tells me how proud he is of how hard I work, and always tells me I’m sexy, 200 pounds….or 167. So when I start to feel a little sorry for myself, I remember how blessed I am that I have him and his constant support, and that I have the guidance of Weight Watchers.

HOW IS WALKING CLUB DOING?

I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I have not mentioned Walking Club in a couple of weeks. Well, when walking Club first started, we met on Tuesday and Thursday at 6:00 am. The sun was rising and it was light out. Now? The sun is still sleeping and it is super scary and DARK outside! We took a vote and decided to start walking in the evenings. With school activities and sports and dinner time, we have yet to determine a schedule that works for everyone. (Still Two Humans….One Dog)

HOW DID I DO WITH THE ONLINE BOOTCAMP?

Kinda sucky. I determined that I do my best exercise in a class atmosphere. I would totally be kidding myself if I ever claimed to be a great self starter….or self motivator in the exercise department. I loved the Bootcamp that I attended at a gym, but the online class required you to watch videos to learn how to do the exercise, and the extra 20 minutes or so that that took, just didn’t seem to be my thing. I did great the first two and a half weeks, then I convinced myself that I knew enough exercises to get a good workout without reading about any additional exercises included in the online Bootcamp. Well, I sucked at that too. The End (of online Bootcamp).

WHAT IS MY CURRENT EXERCISE ROUTINE?

I have been walking/jogging/running/jogging/walking almost every day. I will never love to run, but I do like to think about the calories I am burning when I do it. I think I will always love my walks outside, so that has not been to difficult lately with the great weather, but I will have to push myself to get on the treadmill this winter. I will take advantage of the outside walks as long as possible.

I have looked into going back to the Bootcamp at the gym. I just need to make the decision if I want to spend the money. I irritate myself that I can’t work that hard on my own, but I have talked to several others that say they also know they work harder in the class atmosphere and like the idea of an instructor telling them exactly what exercises to do and how many reps. (I think I just made my decision as I typed that out.)

I will sign up this week, and I will blog about it the day I do it. It’s a 12 month commitment. That freaks me out a bit. (I do better with short term goals.)

DO I HAVE A PLAN FOR FUTURE RECIPE POST?

Yes I do! I am going to set a goal of a minimum of two new recipes each week. That was an important part of my blogging idea in the beginning and I think it seems to really help people to have a place to go for low point, easy meal ideas. I blog entirely from my IPad because my laptop is vintage and sucks. I have to post the recipes under the recipe “tab” from the vintage, sucky laptop, so I get discouraged, but I think the recipes are an important part of the blog, so I am going to work on being patient with my laptop and JUST DO IT !

HOW DO I PLAN TO PUT MORE THOUGHT INTO EACH MEAL AND SNACK?

I am going to challenge myself to include more vegetables and experiment with different recipes. I eat a lot of fruit, so that’s not a problem, but I think I need to expand my veggie options just a bit more. And the fact that most veggies are Zero PPV, makes this challenge that much easier. I am just going to try to be a bit more creative with my choices and my recipes.

I am also going to try to include a protein with my fruit. It makes me think a little more before I just grab that banana off the kitchen counter when I know I need to include a protein with it and track those points.

DID I “FALL OFF THE WAGON”?

Maybe. It all started so innocently, too. I like beer. Always have, always will. After getting into the 160’s in June, I was getting excited to get to goal and I was having regular losses. I decided it would speed things up a bit if I really focused on drinking less beer. I decided to cut back and drink only on special occasions (mowing the lawn and Friday Happy Hours with my girls didn’t count). In July, I drank twice. In August, I drank twice. Then I decided, and stated on my blog, that I would not drink again until I reached 150 pounds. At first that seemed fine. I wanted to get to goal weight and I felt myself getting in a hurry, which I had not experienced before. The hurrying part. I decided that I could do it, not drink, and it wouldn’t bother me, but at times it might be difficult. I attended several parties, went to bars for dinner and attended social events where alcohol was served, and I passed. I always left feeling very pleased with myself. One Saturday afternoon, while at lunch with my newly 21 year old daughter, I ordered a beer with her while we sat at the bar. I drank half, felt guilty, then didn’t finish it, but felt good about not finishing it. A week later, at an outdoor concert with Mike, I had a beer. Just one. Tasted great. Still felt bad. Then I thought….”What am I doing?” I was mad that I had decided to temporarily give up something I enjoy (a lot!) and then be so irritated about it. I was really beginning to teeter back and forth a lot trying to figure out if I was making a bigger deal out of this no drinking thing than I needed to. (I tend to make a big deal out of stuff……sometimes) then I wasn’t sure if I was mad about making a decision I didn’t like, or if I was mad at myself for thinking maybe this wasn’t realistic for me. The back and forth of the whole thing, and the panicky thought of not drinking at all got to me a bit. So I have spent some serious time thinking about it.

The Weight Watcher plan works, and I need to follow the plan. I do not need to drink a twelve pack……I mean a six pack……but I can have a couple of beers for Happy Hour, or at dinner with my husband, or at a party, and its okay. It’s okay because the plan allows you to do that. I am just going to follow the plan. Well geeezzzzz, that was an easy solution.

WHAT DO I EXPECT TO GET OUT OF MY BLOG?

The blog has been a much greater tool for me than I ever expected. I find myself anxious to write most days. I apologize for the boring post on the days that I am either in a hurry, or discouraged with myself, so I am short and to the point. I have mentioned how I have always liked to keep a journal of some sort, but I must admit, journaling publicly is a bit different. When I start to tell a friend about something I did, and they say they already read that on my blog, I forget I already told the world. Then I am happy they are reading. 🙂

The initial idea for the blog, and that hasn’t changed, was to have a place for people to come that we’re struggling with their weight loss, or were losing weight very slowly and possibly feeling frustrated and needed to know that they weren’t alone. That is still the main goal for the blog. I want anyone losing weight, and struggling, and feeling frustrated, to know that they are not alone.

I have surprised myself with how much time I spend blogging, taking pictures of my food, and thinking more frequently about the variety of food I am eating. I don’t want anyone reading to become bored with my everyday eats, so I attempt to throw in some variety every so often. Even though my weight loss IS slow, and I don’t have a nice loss to report each week, I can’t believe how many people tell me that they read my blog and find it either entertaining, or motivational, or informative. That keeps me going for sure. “The Weight of my Weight” has surprisingly become a big part of each of my day. No plans to stop.

TO SUM UP TODAY’S POST, AND WHAT I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS…………

I can’t be in a hurry to lose the weight. I need to continue doing what I have been doing for the last three years. I will get there. I started the blog because I like to journal. I like to get my thoughts on paper (IPad works too!) I want to help and encourage people that are struggling with their own weight loss, or are losing slowly. That’s my specialty. I lose weight slow. When I started the blog, I asked people to join me. I said with a little patience, support and humor, I would Reach my goal. And I will. And if YOU are trying to get there too, stay with me, and together we will achieve our goals.

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

julesfarm@yahoo.com

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2 responses to Deep Thought Friday……(on Saturday morning)

  1. Thanks so much Libby! Your comments always inspire me and I always look forward to them!

  2. What a wonderful and thoughtful post!! I love the idea of evaluating this process. I think it is so important to look at the past and where we go from here (and why) You have really inspired me with this piece..just one more reason why I think you will be a rockin’ WW Leader! I would LOVE to be one of your members!