Archives For February 2013

5 Days Post-Op!

February 13, 2013

I would say that mostly, things are going as expected. When the Doc said that one week after surgery, I would regret having it, I am wondering if he was referring mostly to this darn arm/brace slingy thingamabob!

There is no way to put on a shirt that you “pull over”, and attempting a bra at this point would be ridiculous! None of the shirts that I own that are button up would be comfortable at all under this brace, so I had a friend (THANK YOU, BECKY!) shop for a thin, zip up hoodie that I could just cut the arms off of! I figured after shower number two (which was WAY more successful than shower number one), I could actually put on some clothes, although Mike said he didn’t really mind the new, topless Julie.

Whatcha think?

So far, sleeping has been terrible. (The brace can only be taken off for showering.) Monday was the best night so far. Hopefully I will get another one of those soon!

Mike has been a busy little bee lately taking care of me, taking all the phone calls regarding Tess’ accident, still dealing with issues regarding “the vacation robbery” and shopping for Tess a car. Oh yeah, and trying to work from home while dealing with everything else and explain to the dogs that mommy will eventually be back in the bed with all of them very soon! (I am afraid Tucker will pounce on my shoulder, so I have kept mostly in the guest bedroom.)

Mike did find Tess a cute little Honda that was within our budget. The mechanic just called to say he thinks we got a heckuva deal! Yay! Good news!

I have kept within my points for the week, so that makes me happy. Although due to all of the drugs, I haven’t had much of an appetite. 🙂 I’m sure that will change over the next several days. As long as I keep the right foods in the house, and the wrong foods out of the house, I should do just fine!

I changed my walking goal. I decided two weeks after surgery, I should be able to start walking. I will get that confirmed tomorrow. I changed my goal to 200 miles in 12 weeks, instead of 150 miles. My original goal sounded very doable, whereas my new goal sounds like more of a challenge, and I think I need a challenge to focus on.

Well, I typed this all with my left index finger, and it is getting tired, so that’s all for today!

I actually feel much better pain wise than I expected at this point, so that is SUPER!

(Basically this means, I successfully took my second shower without crying)

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

So far, things are exactly as expected. I can’t wear anything up top, and it’s a struggle to pee.

Surgery went well. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. Very sweet and very much appreciated! 🙂

My rotator cuff is stitched up and the Doc removed a bone spur! All done laparoscopically, so that was a nice surprise. No big scar!

I’ve had a couple of break downs, but that has basically been late at night just trying to get comfortable with this crazy sling. Oh, and one time I bumped my arm, and it felt like it fell off, so I might have over reacted just a bit.

Mike has been an awesome nurse! We had to ice me for 15 minutes EVERY HOUR for the first 72 hours! We hope to get caught up on some sleep tonight.

I got to remove all the bandages on Sunday and take a shower! I love a nice hot shower, so I was super excited. Um……. taking off the sling was excruciating, then there was a slight chill in the air, so I worked myself into a small hysterical fit, so I was clean, but miserable.

I have actually counted points as best as possible and have done well. I guess you don’t work up much of an appetite just sitting around on drugs. I am drinking tons of water and hot tea.

Now, I just sit and wait until Thursday’s post op.

Look! No bruises! (Yet)

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

I have really weird dreams. I have often thought about keeping a dream journal, then having it analyzed, but I’m afraid I might learn something about myself that it’s just better that I maybe not know. A lot of dreams, I just keep to myself. 🙂

Here is my day dream that I have had for the last two weeks that is really more of a Nightmare.

“I go under the knife, and the anesthetic has not completely put me under. I can hear “Scalpel” and then I FEEL them cutting on me and I can’t scream!!”

Too much? People, this really does happen, and the bad luck around here lately is……well……common!

I see myself being interviewed by Diane Sawyer on 20/20 telling the tragic story of the family with the worst luck ever!

So I have decided before ANYTHING can happen in the morning, I have GOT to meet with the anesthesiologist. (I feel the need to gloat here. I just spelled that word correctly, because spell check didn’t change a thing!)

I decided I needed a little ZEN in my day today. I did all the usual stuff I do on Thursdays. One last day of work, errands, one last load of laundry. The usual. But I did decide to get a pedicure to relax just a bit. I went the extra mile and got the “Heel Scraper” pedicure with the extra long massage. I am not the best pedicure client (everything tickles or hurts and I guess I just have super sensitive skin) and I am the Worlds Worst at understanding someone with just a hint of an accent. And for some reason it really can stress me out. (Why I thought this was going to be relaxing is kinda dumb.)Then I try to say words like they do, and then I feel I am insulting them, when I am only trying my best to communicate and make polite conversation. It just wasn’t working for me today. So after lots of nodding, and “huh’s?”, I finally said I was kinda feeling some stress and would like to just close my eyes and relax. Then she dropped the thing you clip all the dead skin away with and it STABBED me in the top of my foot! Not a lot of ZEN, but my toenails are a pretty shade of orange and my heels will not likely cut Mike in bed tonight. And that’s a good thing.

Mike mentioned last week that he thought I needed some sort of a visual for my recovery period. I thought this sounded like a good idea, but wasn’t really sure what kind of visual would work best. He suggested something I could chart that would show I was feeling better and making progress. I would like to chart my physical therapy, but I don’t really know exactly what that is yet. So I decided to chart my mood with Weekly Emoticons, and I decided two weeks after surgery, I would begin to walk 150 miles over the next 12 weeks. That really isn’t that many miles in 12 weeks, but it is something to work towards, and it will give something to chart and feel good about. It is my hope that the Doc will give me the “Go Ahead” at the end of that 12 weeks to start back at Bootcamp. So that’s what I called my chart that I made.

“The Road to Bootcamp”

The days eats……

I liked that runny egg thing yesterday, and I’m not really a runny egg kinda girl, or maybe I am?

1 Egg
2 Pieces of Toast
Black Coffee


I liked dipping my toast in it!

Salad Bar at the Grocery Store
Lettuce, Carrots, Bell Peppers, Tomatoes
Chicken, a little taco meat, sour cream, salsa



“The Last Supper”
(You just never know.)

I thought a little today about what I wanted for dinner, then I decided it should be something Mike really likes, since he has a rough few days ahead of him.
(He has NOT had a super great week.)
He loves the Chinese place up the street, and me? I can take it or leave it. All Chinese food, that is. The place up the street is called Savor. But one time, a long long long time ago, Tess and I thought Mike called it Savior. So her and I began to call it “Savior”, then we began to call it “Our Lord and Savior”, and now, I think I am the only one that calls it “Our Lord and Savior Chinese Food”. It’s just one of those things that I KNOW for certain her and I are the only ones that find the humor in it, but it kills us every time. So I decided there was not a more appropriate place to get my “Last Supper”, than from “Our Lord and Savior Chinese Food”.

Mike’s…Chicken and Broccoli in some kinda sauce that starts with an “H”, or maybe it starts with a “Y”, and it’s spicy, Fried Rice
2 Crab Rangoon

Julie’s…. Chicken and Broccoli in Black Bean Sauce, No Rice
2 Crab Rangoon.

15 PPV

The food I ate today and it’s PPV

Breakfast = 4
Lunch = 8
Dinner = 15

Total = 27

Activity Points Earned Today = 0
Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0
How many glasses of water I drank today = 8

I’ll be back in a few days…..

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Is this real life?

February 7, 2013

Okay, so Tess goes to get a rental car.

Wait. This really needs to be told in some sort of a story format.

“The Adventures of Tess”

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl named Tess (she really was beautiful you guys), who liked adventures (shit just kinda happens to her, like it or not). She was adored by many (she really did have a lot of friends). Tess moved to a place, far far away. (Dallas)

In just a few short weeks, beautiful young Tess was busy visiting other far away places (a weekend in New Orleans and Nashville and a couple of day trips to Phoenix and Austin).

On a return trip home from one of her adventures, she had an unfortunate mishap (she got broadsided by a big ass SUV!) and Gertrude was sent to the junkyard. Tess apparently was surrounded by angels, because she was unharmed. (Gertrude sacrificed herself for beautiful, young Tess.)

Tess went to the car store to borrow a car. You simply need a major credit card, (SHE DOESN’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE!) and if under the age of 25 and an out of state D.L. be wise enough to figure out how to get through all the red tape. Along with beauty, she is extremely intelligent, so several phone calls and several hours later, she was able to come up with a solution.

A nice young man came to pick her up and deliver her back to the car store to borrow a car. She was polite and made small talk with the gentleman while driving back to the car store. (She was really uncomfortable and the drive was longer than she had anticipated.)

Before arriving at the car store, the nice young gentleman (Jerron, who was actually a music producer by night and delivery driver of people during the day) asked her if she would like to go out. Taken a bit off guard, and not yet at a point where she could get out of the car, and unsure of how he might reply to a “No thank you”, Tess replied “sure”. (He asked for her number, then reminded her that HE ALREADY HAD IT IN HIS PERSONAL PHONE, AND….he used his personal phone to GPS how to get to her house!!!!)

Lovely, young, beautiful, adventurous, intelligent Tess called the car store to let them know about the date request from the driver. (She was totally freaked out!!) They apologized immediately. Later she received a call from management to see if they could do something to show how sorry they were. She let them know that it would be helpful to not have to worry about returning the vehicle with a full tank of gas. They gladly obliged. Then she went to Happy Hour.”

“The End”

You can read Tess’ hilariously and cleverly titled version of her own story on her blog by Clicking Here.

Here is what I ate…….

Small bowl of cereal with skim milk

I have always wanted to make this, but forget about it.


Toast, Egg

Coffee with Skim Milk

Leftover Rotisserie Chicken, Roasted potatoes,
Cauliflower with Cheese



Boom Boom Tacos from Beauty of the Bistro


Protein Bar

Breakfast = 8
Lunch = 7
Dinner = 8
Snack = 5

Total = 28

Activity Points Earned Today = 0
Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0
How many glasses of water I drank today = 9


“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Bacon and Cheese, Please?

February 5, 2013


Fresh Strawberries, that actually tasted really sweet!
Light English Muffin with Egg Beaters, 1 T. Bacon Pieces,
Reduced Fat Cheddar Slice and a small smear of fresh avocado!

Then I was ecstatic to find a Keurig Gingerbread flavor cup and a small amount of Sugar Free Pumpkin Coffee Syrup! Add a little steamed skim milk, and ahhhhhh, back in the days of Fall of 2012. It seems so long ago……

My overly dramatic breakfast was…


Left over roasted veggies and tortellini.


Grilled Bacon and Cheese!
2 slices 1 PPV bread
1 T. Light Country Crock Spread
2 slices Reduced Fat Cheddar
1 T. Bacon Pieces

1 Happy Lady!



I thought about more Bacon and cheese, but I was craving tilapia tacos instead.

Tilapia taco

Salad with mixed greens, olives, tomatoes, kidney beans, and bell peppers all dressed with salsa and a little sour cream

Dessert? Okay.
1/2 C Low Fat Vanilla Frozen Yogurt topped with
Apples in a Bag!


The food I ate today and it’s PPV

Breakfast = 9
Lunch = 9
Dinner = 10
Dessert = 3

Total = 31

Activity Points Earned Today = 4
Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0
How many glasses of water I drank today = 9

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

2013, Lucky or Unlucky?

February 4, 2013

I’ve never really been a superstitious person. I never DIDN’T schedule something on Friday the 13th. I never carried a rabbits foot. I ALWAYS stepped on a crack, and I never pick up a penny. I just never gave it much thought. I’m one of those people that truly believes that things happen for a reason. Good or bad. I believe that good things happen when they are supposed to happen in our lives and bad things happen when they are supposed to happen. I try really hard to acknowledge when the good things happen as a blessing, and I try to recognize the lesson I need to learn when bad things happen, or how that the bad thing could have been much worse, then I go back to feeling blessed that the bad thing wasn’t worse. It just works for me. Most of the time.

I start my blog with this subject today because so far, 2013 has been a little iffy. Certainly great things have happened, like Tess getting her internship, and Mike and I going on a beautiful vacation to the beach with great friends, but a few unfortunate things have happened too, like being robbed at gunpoint, puking on the plane, the furnace going out, the deck falling apart……and so on. Here is where I find the good in the bad. Mike got robbed, but not shot. The guy stole his wedding ring, but our jeweler has one just like it that we can get. The furnace broke and the deck is falling apart, but we can afford to fix those things. I find myself waking up each day wondering what might break today, or what might go wrong, and just preparing myself to handle things with patience and to be calm.

The phone call that I have fearfully anticipated since the day Tess turned 15 and drove by herself for the first time up the street to her part time job at the ice cream store, came Sunday afternoon. Tess had called to tell me she had returned to Dallas from her trip to Nashville for the weekend, and was driving home to her cousins house where she is staying while in Dallas. She had a great time with her new Intern Friends from Southwest, and she was looking forward to watching the Super Bowl with Jason and Sara, her cousin and his wife. She was so happy about her recent travels and the incredible internship she has found herself in. (it’s one of those things I think happened for a reason.)

We hung up, and MAYBE five minutes later my cell phone rang, showing her name on the screen. I said “hello?” with a question at the end, like….”what did you forget to tell me?” and there was a deep voice on the other end. I knew IMMEDIATELY what had happened. She had been in a wreck, and I had no idea who was holding her phone, but assumed they called the last person she spoke to. He said something like this……(I could hear her crying in the background). “Ma’am, I just want you to know she is okay, but there has been a bad accident”.

Tess was hit while on the Interstate. There were several witnesses that stopped to help her. Her car was hit on the driver’s side. The windows busted out leaving her lap and hair full of glass. One of the witnesses was a nurse, and she stopped and held her hand while waiting for the ambulance. They removed Tess from the passengers’s side and placed her on a board and put a neck brace on her. All precautions. She was taken to the ER where they took X-rays and did CT scans to check things out. All came back fine and they sent her home with some pain meds and a note not to return to work until Wednesday. The car is a total loss.

She is going to be sore for a while. But here is the good. She is fine. That phone call, as scary as it was at first, could have been so much worse. The blessing is, she is fine. A little shook up and a little sore, but fine. Many prayers of thanks were said last night.

But it leaves me wondering. What else does 2013 have in store? Maybe it’s going to be one of those years where a LOT of things are learned and appreciated out of bad situations, OR???????? A whole bunch of good shit it about to go down!!! 🙂

Here are yesterday’s eats……

French Toast
(Made with 1 PPV per/slice bread, Egg Whites, skim milk, cinnamon and vanilla)
Topped with Apples in a Bag

Um…..I don’t know why I hadn’t thought to put the Apples in a Bag on top of french toast or pancakes before, but this was deeeeelish. No syrup or butter needed.


Coffee with Skim Milk

Tomatoes, Carrots, Bell Peppers, Cheese, Crackers, hummus


(Not your typical Superbowl Dinner)

Roasted Veggies
Carrots, Zucchini, Mushrooms, Asparagus, Potatoes

Uh…..yum. I do love a good Traders Joe’s find.

Pinterest Recipe!

Baked Salmon…..

Here’s mine……one little tab of butter worked just fine.

I loved the baked salmon in the foil. Soft and buttery.

15 PPV

I forgot to buy a new Weight Watchers Tracker. Urg.
My total for the day was 27.
I had a great Treadmill workout that earned me 4 activity points.
I took the mutts for a nice little 15 minute walk.

The food I ate today and it’s PPV

Breakfast = 6
Lunch = 6
Snack = 0
Dinner = 15

Total = 27

Activity Points Earned Today = 4
Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0
How many glasses of water I drank today = 9

Wishful thinking……..

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Again, we had an awesome meeting on Friday. The subject matter was…..

What do Successful People Have in Common?

The members of the meeting agreed that many successful people could be defined by some of the following……..

Goal Oriented

There were more suggestions given, but these come to mind first. All of these things also make successful Weight Watcher members.

We then discussed if we feel that sometimes we doubt our ability to reach our goal, and why. Why do we think we can not succeed?

People suggested different reasons why they doubt that they can reach their weight loss goals.

Always been overweight.
Family History of obesity.
Big Boned.

I know for me I have a hard time visualizing myself at my goal weight because I have never weighed that. When I got to 165, that was as close to 160 I have been in years, and I can’t explain it, but as good as it felt, it was also scary. Will I keep it off? What will I look like? Will people constantly be waiting for me to gain it back? Should I just stop where I’m at? What if I continue to work really hard and it just doesn’t want to leave my body? So, as embarrassing as all of those thoughts are, they are real for me. Hence “The Weight of my Weight”.

So I sit here, frustrated, knowing I am better than this. Knowing I can work hard, and that working hard is all that I can expect from myself. To keep educated about good health, to exercise, to pay attention to what I am putting my body, to practice moderation and portion control, to plan my weeks and my days, to pat myself on the back for a good choice and forgive myself for a bad choice. Those are the things that I know that I can do.

Well, it’s Sunday morning. I did weigh in on Friday, but I told the nice lady that weighed me that I prefer not to look at the number until later. You are seeing it for the first time with me.

I didn’t look at the number Friday, and I didn’t look at the number on Saturday. I had a long talk with myself in bed last night (reflecting…I suppose) and I knew when I got up that I would have to face the number. So I did. Basically I gained three pounds over the holidays, and it never left me, then I gained three more pounds over vacation. Again, after the incidents that happened on vacation, I was just happy to be with my husband and my friends, and fruits and vegetables didn’t seem as important as rum and fruit juice. (true story)

So now, as I face surgery and a long recovery, (and a lot of unknowns) I have had many a talks with myself about goals and self discipline. I am frustrated with myself for going into this situation with my weight back up a bit. I have been thinking about my goal of 150, and what I need to go back to doing to get there. I journal like crazy, but I have been lacking in measuring, and I have been estimating points values for food much more often that I should. I know when I sneak a bite of food here and there, I have been terrible about writing it down, and I know those unwritten points in food become obvious pounds on my body. My self discipline has always been pretty sucky. I wish I knew why. I know to make this surgery successful, I HAVE to have self discipline when it comes to physical therapy or I might as well not even have the surgery. So not having self discipline is no longer an option. It is mandatory!

Mike has sensed my short temper this week, and I hate it when I take my frustration with myself out on him. The poor guy can’t blink right when I’m in a mood. He completely set my mind at ease last night by telling me he wanted to work from home for a couple of weeks after my surgery because he wanted to be there for me and wanted to be able to do whatever I needed whenever I needed it. (He is sooooo going to regret this.)

Just kidding. He just made me fall in love with him all over again and feel like crap for being so short with him lately.

Well, that was quite a reflection. I feel better already. The sun is shining brightly, we are going out to a movie today, then home to watch the Super Bowl, things feel organized and in place for the week, and it’s going to be a great day!

Here are the eats (as best as I can) for Friday and Saturday.

Luna Bar]

Leftover Red Beans and Rice

Dinner? Okay, Happy Hour
Wine, Beer
Dips, Pizza, Nuts, More Dips…..

I don’t know how many points I consumed, but I will assume my 49 extra points I get each week, were used on Friday and Saturday Night.

This picture is the last of the boxed wine, being squeezed out of the bag!!! These girls are just crazy like that.


Scrambled Egg Beaters with WW Cheese
Toast and Jelly


Veggies and Hummus


I have no pictures.

Mike and I headed out to Sunset Grill to use our coupon for the artichoke dip. Buy one Entree, get the dip for free!

We rarely do the appetizer thing, but we did. The dip was awesome, and even better when washing it down with a couple of ice cold beers!

It was probably one of the best date nights we have had in a really long time. We each had a few beers and filled up on chips and dip. We never did order that Entree.

So obviously, I have already gone over on my points for the week after two days. My long talk with myself was last night after we came home and Mike was fast asleep. I have got to stop celebrating with food and get back to my plan. The surgery feels like a fresh start to my health. I really let my shoulder get me down and this is an opportunity for a fresh start as far as my goals go and with my new relationship with Self Discipline.

I have no idea how much I will blog after surgery, but I am assuming I will take at least a few days off.

I will blog the rest of the week for sure though.

This blog was kind of all over the place, but it always feels good for me to get my thoughts I’ve had stuck in my head all week long out there.

Thanks to my supporters for not giving up on me and accepting me, no matter what the scale says. 🙂

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

……I read a little info on what to expect after Rotator Cuff Repair Surgery.

Let me start with why I had so much spare time. The dogs went to the groomer and I felt as though my children were at Mothers Day Out! And I LOVED it!

But…..then the carpet cleaners came. I think I might be experiencing some nesting for post-op.

The furnace guy also came, so I posted this on Facebook. I was in need of a little entertainment.

“So, the furnace guy is here….again. If I go missing, his name is Mark. I saw on a TV special that you should let someone know when you’re home alone with a service guy. I thought I’d just tell everyone.”

The comments that followed kept me entertained a while longer.

Then I tweeted it. I was really bored.

Then, everything was fixed and/or clean, so I picked up my babies…..all pretty and clean!



In my spare time though, during carpet cleaner guy and furnace guy……I did some reading…….and the Doc didn’t lie. He said one week after surgery, I may regret having it, and two weeks after surgery, I may regret it even more. Weeks three and four I will start to adapt. From what I have read this morning, its all true. Aside from the pain during recovery, I hadn’t put a lot of thought into all of the things I will have to do with my left hand, and my left hand only. I can barely WASH my right hand with my left hand while washing my hands, but I suppose that’s about to change. I’m not complaining, I am eager to feel better and move on with the simple things that have become painful……like sleeping, showering, dressing, folding laundry, hanging laundry and just putting plates in the cupboard. I just hadn’t put a lot of thought into NOT using my right arm at all for several weeks. How will I get my pants down to pee? How will I put on my BRA? These are currently my two biggest concerns, wetting my pants and tripping over my nipples. I guess I will just be spending lots of time in my robe. That could become depressing and I could get bored really quick, so I plan to spend lots of time writing stupid blogs (just using my left hand of course) that will most likely have absolutely nothing at all to do with Weight Watchers, or cooking or how many activity points I earned while walking on the treadmill, but more about the funny movies I watched and the amazing things I have learned to do with my left hand, like drink coffee or brush my teeth. Try it with your opposite hand. It ain’t easy.

I am going to the library before surgery to check out some motivational books about life in general. I can’t spend ALL day watching movies and drinking coffee. I could become really annoying on Facebook? Maybe I’ll try Jenga with just my left hand?

Egads… are a few interesting tidbits I found today on what to expect post-op.

1. GETTING WASHED: For the first 3 weeks you may need assistance to wash your un-operated arm, as you will not be able to use your operated arm for this. To dry yourself, it may be easier to put a toweling bathrobe on, which will help to dry your un-operated arm.

2. GETTING DRESSED: You will find it easier to wear front opening clothes. Always dress your operated arm first.

3. KITCHEN ACTIVITIES: This includes making meals, snacks and drinks for yourself. For the first 6 weeks you must use your un-operated arm for kitchen activities. After this time you may return to using both arms. AVOID LIFTING ANYTHING HEAVY FOR 3 MONTHS. At 6 weeks after surgery you may lift light items.

4. HOUSEWORK: Light housework may resume after 6 weeks. More strenuous housework should be avoided until 3 months after your operation.

5. It is important that the repaired tendons not be challenged until they have had a chance to heal. We recommend that you make no attempt to engage the repaired arm away from the side of the body, i.e. absolutely no reaching or lifting activities for a full 3 months. Light finger activities such as keyboarding, shuffling cards, buttoning your shirt will be permitted and may be initiated within a few days after surgery.

Well, I spent way too much time reading about what I will NOT be able to do and I did not spend any time taking pictures of the food I ate yesterday. I haven’t skipped a food taking picture day in a really long time. I don’t actually know how many points I ate yesterday either.

We had some family here last night, and between playing with the Grandkids (we built the coolest castle with sheets in the upstairs hallway!) and catching up on conversation, I was mindlessly snacking on the Delight Pizza!!

Toast with Peanut Butter

Shredded BBQ Pork and Broccoli Salad

Spinach Salad and Papa Murphy’s Delight Pizza (too many pieces)

Friday morning is my first weigh in since vacation. I know I gained and I know I didn’t get it all off this week, but I know some of it came off.

I am feeling a little nervous about eating out of boredom after surgery. I have removed ALL trigger foods from my house, so that’s step one in avoiding that problem.

I will need to keep my mind busy so boredom eating doesn’t become an issue, and I will keep lots of fruits and crunchy veggies available in case I do end up eating more than I should between meals.

I plan to focus hard on the The Power Foods this week and get 5 days of walking in. I want to go into surgery feeling positive, healthy and strong.

“love the life you live, live the life you love”