Completely Naked……and a Wedding

November 4, 2013

Writing my post on Saturday morning was really difficult. I felt like I had completely let everyone in to see it all, the good, the bad, the ugly. I felt completely naked. It’s hard to admit failure. It’s easy and exciting to talk about success and goals achieved, but failing and admitting it, is difficult. Trying to figure out WHY you failed, is also difficult. 

When I first started writing this blog about my weight loss journey, I wanted it to be a couple of different things. I wanted it to my “journal” so I could look back and reflect, and I have been able to do just that….often.

Knowing my own weight loss struggles in my past, I also wanted my blog to be a place where people could come to for motivation and support in their own weight loss struggles. I want them to know that they are not alone. I decided that, as cliché as it may sound, if I could inspire just ONE person by blogging about my weight loss journey, then it would all be worth it.

It would be very gratifying if I were the “Model Weight Watcher Member” and always followed the rules, and always met all of my goals. But if I did that, then I wouldn’t really be helping anyone that is struggling. Oh, sure, I might help a little, but the people that ARE struggling, the people like ME, wouldn’t be able to relate. So I think there is a reason I am struggling……and learning……and blogging…….and sharing.

After posting my blog on Saturday morning, I felt like a weight (there’s that word again….) had been lifted off of my shoulders by releasing all of those thoughts in my head. I feel that way each time I write an emotional blog post. I received several messages via Facebook, email and text messages thanking me for my honesty and letting me know my words were inspirational. It was a great reminder of why I share so much, and also a reminder to me that for some unknown reason, I’m right where I need to be, learning what I need to be learning about myself.

Here is something I have learned for sure. I suck at long term goals that involve the calendar. I feel panicked. It’s like, when I set the goal, I almost know immediately in my head that I won’t succeed. I don’t think I met one timeline goal the whole time that I was trying. But what I did realize that I do seem to have success with is short term goals and planning and scheduling.  I can’t control what the number on the scale is going to say (yes, to some extent, I can control in which direction it is ultimately going to go), but what I can have complete and 100% control over, is my behavior. I can control how many days a week I exercise and to what intensity I do it at. I can control what I do put in my mouth, and I can control what I do not put in my mouth. I can control how many glasses of water I drink. I can control all of those things, which will ultimately change the number on the scale.

Each time that I really allow myself to get “In The Zone”, everything seems so much easier. Staying “In The Zone” isn’t always easy, but having a plan and a schedule for certain things makes it a lot easier for me to stay there.

I have made a PLAN for the month of November, and if all goes well, I will make a PLAN for December as well.

The November Plan

Exercise

Exercise 6 days a week. No excuses. Exercise immediately after blogging and do not allow myself to get side tracked with household duties!!

Three days a week, I will walk/run a minimum of 4 miles.

Three days a week, I will walk/run a minimum of 2 miles along with the strength training exercises recommended by my trainer.

Monday’s and Wednesday’s I have walking plans scheduled with friends, and I need that accountability. 

Every other Tuesday, I meet with my trainer at 9;30 a.m. On my OFF WEEK, I will still do my Strength Training at 9:30, just as though I had a set appointment. 

Alcohol

Look at the calendar and plan accordingly. Allow Alcohol Two Times a Month.

November 12 – Pink Concert with a large group of friends and a Party Bus!

November 22 – My Birthday!

Sugar

I’ve never tried to eliminate sugar from my diet before, so this will be new for me. I think for this first month, I’ll  take the most obvious first step and simply avoid all sweets and read more labels paying attention to the grams of sugar. 

I will plan on having something sweet on my birthday, but only ONE serving.

Menu

While I am not going to make an exact Menu for the month, or even for the week for that matter, I am going to “plan” a variety for Dinner.

Salmon – One Day a Week

Salad as the Main Course – One Day a Week

Lean Beef – One Day a Week

Chicken/Turkey – Two Day’s a Week

Eat Out – Two Days a Week

 

While reading over my past post on my blogs, I did realize that I have become lazy in taking pictures of Zero Point items such as fruits, and lazy on taking pictures of my Starbucks and my almonds. I guess I assume you all know what almonds, and banana’s and coffee cups look like. But as a reader, I realized the page looks like I’m leaving something out when I do that, and I kind of liked looking at the post where I included the actual pictures of everything that I ate that day. So I am vowing to going back to taking a picture of everything I put into my mouth!

Saturday after posting my blog, I headed out into the sunshine to soak up some positive energy and shop for some black dress slacks. On Friday I went to Von Maur, Nordtrom Rack, JCPenneys, Steinmart and I think one other store, and came home with nothing. As I was shopping, I pulled the pants off of the rack only grabbing 8’s. As I looked at them on the rack, they looked like they wouldn’t fit. They looked small. But I was insisting on only going for 8’s. While in the dressing room, with no pants on and looking in the mirror, I thought, there is NO way these are going to fit! I know that my legs are smaller, but they are still so unattractive to me. My thighs are just super thick! As I put on each pair of pants, they all slid right over my butt and fit! I soooo vividly remember trying on 14’s and they had become difficult to pull up over my butt, and impossible to zip! I still see a fat ME in the mirror, and I know some of this probably has to do with building more muscle and toning, but I still can not believe I am putting on a size 8 pants!

On Saturday, i went to the Steinmart literally RIGHT up the street from my house, and bought two pairs of black slacks that I thought I liked. I decided to take them both home, see which one I liked the most, then return the other pair this week. I also bought a pair of shoes and a black shawl. My shirt that I was wearing was sleeveless and i knew it was going to be cool enough that i would need something to wear over my shirt, and I had nothing! When I first found the shawl, I giggled at it, thought it was hideous, and walked away. After finding absolutely NOTHING else that would work, I went back to it. Was it cute? Or was it actually hideous? I don’t know. Maybe it’s cute. Maybe it’s hideous! I bought it. I went home and tried on the new pants with my top, the shoes, the shawl. I was not liking the combo and it was now time to get ready. I went back to the slacks that I already had. I’m returning the new slacks this week!

Here’s the shawl/jacket??? I think I like it. It’s fuzzy.

IMG_3575 Here’s the outfit……

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 Mike and I, all dressed up!

I love him in a Suit!

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I took a picture of the cake and of the flowers on our table, but my picture of the Bride and Groom didn’t turn out well at all, so I won’t share what I do have. When they have pictures up on Facebook, I’ll share, and you will be glad I did. She was beautiful!

Motivation

I can’t remember where I found this when I was looking for motivational quotes on Sunday morning, but I really like it!

 

“Motivation is fueled by imagination. Imagination starts with a dream. Dreams are born of an unknown random energy, divine inspiration or tragic circumstance. Regardless of the birthplace, where are your dreams taking you these days? What have you imagined you can do? And what are you doing to get motivated? A good first step might be to think of your life as a book that you would write.

Would your life be a good read?”

 

Here are the weekends eats…….

Saturday Breakfast

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Saturday Lunch

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Saturday Dinner at the Wedding

Everything was amazing…..and such a great variety!

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The Cake was Blackberry!

This was the biggest surprise when it first hit my tastebuds!

It was delicious! 

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Breakfast = Steel Cut Oats with 1 T. Pumpkin Butter, Coffee with Skim Milk (6)

Lunch = 5 Egg Whites, Cheese, Salsa, 2 Clementines (3)

Dinner = Kale Salad, Chicken, Salmon, Potatoes, Brussels Sprouts, Wedding Cake, Red Wine (32)

Total = 41

I ate light the first part of the day, and planned on dipping into my 49 Bonus Points for the Wedding Dinner. The food truly was amazing. 

 

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Sunday Breakfast

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Sunday Lunch

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Sunday Snack

Un-pictured 24 Almonds, Coffee with Skim Milk

 

Sunday Dinner

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Refresh…I can eat 26 points a day.

I can earn Activity Points by doing exercise, and eat them if I choose.

I have an allowance of 49 points that I can dip into if I chose.

I should drink a minimum of 6 (8 oz) glasses of water each day.

 

The food I ate and it’s PPV

 

Breakfast = Turkey Sausage, Potatoes, 5 Egg Whites, Cheese, Bell Peppers, Grapes, Coffee with Skim Milk (6)

Lunch = 2 C. Taco Soup (8)

Snack = 24 Almonds, Coffee with Skim Milk (6)

Dinner = Whey Protein Shake with Frozen Blueberries and 1 T. Chia Seeds (4)

 

Total = 24

 

Weekend Exercise = Saturday – none. Sunday – Walked 4 miles, Strength Training

 

Activity Points Earned for the Day = 6

Activity Points Earned This Week = 6

Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 30

Alcohol consumption = Saturday – Red Wine. Sunday – None

 

I LOVE FALL!

When I came up the driveway after my walk on Sunday, there was this little pile of leaves in the driveway. I placed the bright red one on top!

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So gorgeous!

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After spilling my guts and spending a couple of days feeling like crap, I am feeling Re-Motivated and excited for the month of November!

 

motivation 

 

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

julesfarm@yahoo.com

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4 responses to Completely Naked……and a Wedding

  1. julesfarm@yahoo.com November 19, 2013 at 12:58 am

    Thanks Tonya!!

  2. Love your authenticity … thanks for sharing your story! Keep up the good work!

  3. julesfarm@yahoo.com November 4, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    I’m glad you’re reading, Tammy. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. It’s a difficult journey, that’s for sure!

    I take the most RANDOM pictures, but the leaves this Fall really are gorgeous!!

  4. I thought I was the only one that took pics of clusters of pretty leaves!! I too have recently gone through a set back in my weightloss journey. I appreciate your honesty in your journey. It helps more people than you know.