I think I might be CrAZy…..
I’m not sure if I have unusual things happen to me, or if I make things that happen to me become unusual? Maybe a little bit of both.
When I was a kid, I had the dad that yelled at the teenage driver speeding down the street….”Slow Down!”…So I do that too.
Ten years ago, or so, as a driver was speeding by, I threw a full cup of water in his window. He hit the brakes and backed up and questioned me. I reminded him that he was in a neighborhood and that driving as fast as he was driving was NOT SAFE! He drove away and flipped me off. Punk.
Around the same time, I was mowing in my backyard in the middle of the afternoon, and my daughter was playing at a neighbors house a few doors down. I look up to see a man (who I later found out was a teenage boy) completely naked except for his tennis shoes and baseball hat, streaking through the backyards in the direction of the house that my daughter was at! I ran inside, called 911, then took off on foot after the streaker! Yip, I did that. I didn’t catch him, but the cops did. Telling that story still cracks me up, because the kid was probably on the track team or something, and how I thought I would catch him, or what I would do with the punk when I did catch him….who knows. I thought I was saving my daughter from a child molester you guys!!!
I also had the dad that tapped his brakes to the driver behind him that was too close for comfort. So I do that too, although not as often as I used to. I’m afraid someone might shoot me!
I had the dad that liked to mow the yard in weird designs. Occasionally I like to mow a circle around the tree in the front yard, and then I just continue the circle! No harm here, I just look crazy. You guys…..I might be.
Here’s what I did yesterday. I mean, here’s what happened to me yesterday.
I came home from working at the Food Truck to two messages on my answering machine. Here is what the message said, in a thick Indian accent……Oh…and he said his name was Steve Martin!!
“Hi this message is intended to contact you. My name is Steve Martin and I’m calling regarding the enforcement actions executed by US Treasury in getting your serious attention. Ignoring this will be an intention of taking it down toward initial appearance before magistrate-judge-of-the-grand jury for a federal criminal offense. My number is530-532-2612. Again 530-532-2612. I advise you to cooperate with us and help us to help you. Thanks.”
I knew it was a scam, and it pisses me off, so I called them back. They asked me my name. I’m like, if you called me, then you should know my name. Then he rattled off my name and address! So I hung up and called the police, and they told me that I could file a complaint with the Attorney General.
Then I called Steve Martin back!
I said something like this…..
“So you ARE with the US Treasury Department?” He said yes and gave me an employee ID number, to which I replied….”REALLY? Because I just called the police and they verified that this is a scam, and I think that’s not nice for you to be trying to scam people and I think you need to stop!”
Here is where I wanted to say something like….let’s pray together, and maybe you can find God, and that will help you be a better person and find a legitimate job. But then he said…….
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
I said….”Huh? NOT what YOU are doing!”
Then Steve Martin said….”WHAT are you doing tomorrow?
Then I hung up! All I was thinking was…..he knows where I live, and he’s going to find me! I called Mike. I’m like…uh….I think I just did something stupid. Then I shared my story. Then I asked Mike if he thought the guy was coming after me??? Mike laughed. How rude.
If I stop blogging tomorrow, please look for Steve Martin. He lives somewhere in California!
After that, I opened the wine and called girlfriends for backup support!
That explains dinner!
Egg Whites, Cheese, Salsa
Two Chicken Taco’s from Crave of KC Food Truck
Wine, Popcorn, Veggies and Tzatziki Dip
Weight Watcher’s Points Plus
I can eat 26 PPV a day.
I can earn Activity Points by doing exercise, and eat them if I choose.
I have an allowance of 49 extra points that I can dip into throughout the week if I choose.
I should drink a minimum of 6 (8 oz) glasses of water each day.
My Weight Watcher Week Begins on Friday’s
Breakfast = Egg Whites, Cheese, Salsa (2)
Lunch = Chicken Taco’s (10)
Dinner = Red Wine, Popcorn, Veggies and Dip (25)
Total = 37
Exercise = zilch
How many glasses of water I drank = 8
Activity Points Earned for the Day = 0
Activity Points Earned This Week = 24
Activity Points Remaining This Week = 21
Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0
Alcohol Consumption = Red Wine
“love the life you live, live the life you love”