Archives For December 2014

Thanks for reading….

December 8, 2014

I got a lot off of my chest in yesterday’s post, and I’ve had a lot of great comments from people telling me how much they relate to my story and my struggles with food. 

Those comments always mean so much to me. This blog was started as a public diary to help hold myself accountable, but it has become so much more than that.

When people comment and tell me that they relate and that they understand, it reminds me how “normal” my abnormal is.

Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, and thank you for accepting my honesty without judgement.

Now, here is how my Sunday went!

Mike and I got in a great date day yesterday afternoon. After blogging about food struggles and drinking too much, would you believe we bellied ourselves up to a bar to watch the Chiefs game?? Well, we did.

I started with coffee, water and a huge veggie and hummus platter. We knew we would likely watch the entire game there, so I ordered smart.

For my meal I ordered a Turkey Burger with a side of zucchini and a beer. I cut my burger in half as soon as it was brought out.

I ate slow. We were eating a really late lunch, and I assumed we wouldn’t be eating dinner. It was not the healthiest way to spread out the calories for the day, but it’s just how the day worked out.

I spent THREE hours sitting at a bar,. I drank 3 light beers and a gallon of water. I earned a few activity points and missed several plays going to the bathroom!

Unfortunately, our Chiefs lost, but Mike and I had a great afternoon together and it was great to just sit there for those three hours talking about things that we hadn’t talked about in a while. 🙂

Yesterday morning, I had zero eggs in the house, zero yogurt and zero oatmeal, so breakfast options were limited!

 

Breakfast

Frothy Coffee

and an Un-pictured Banana

1 PPV

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Lunch/Dinner

Hummus, Veggies

1/2 Turkey Burger, Zucchini

3 Light Beers

25 PPV

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I cut the burger in half, and took the rest home.

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Weight Watcher’s Points Plus

I can eat 26 PPV a day.

I can earn Activity Points by doing exercise, and eat them if I choose.

I have an allowance of 49 extra points that I can dip into throughout the week if I choose.

I should drink a minimum of 6 (8 oz) glasses of water each day.

My Weight Watcher Week Begins on Friday’s

 

Breakfast = Frothy Coffee, Banana (1)

Lunch/Dinner = Veggies, Hummus, 1/2 Turkey Burger, Beer (25)

Total = 26

Exercise = none

Activity Points Earned for the Day = 0

Activity Points Earned This Week = 8

Activity Points Remaining This Week = 8

How many glasses of water I drank for the day = 12

Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 25

 

onedayatatime 

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

I REALLY struggled to write this blog post. I’ve started it over and over and over again since Friday. 

If Food Addiction is a real thing, (I haven’t done the research, so I really don’t know the answer), then I am a food addict. 

I don’t have a weight problem, I have a FOOD problem.

All the way to my WW meeting on Friday, I was in some deep thought. Deep thought about life, family, friends, relationships, current events, goals, lack of goals, food, exercise…….my thoughts were racing like crazy! I gave myself a headache from thinking.

When I got to my meeting, I opened up my Weight Watcher book and I realized that it had been 4 weeks since I had been to a meeting! I knew about where my weight was, and after weighing in, I was correct. I’m back in the 170’s. I weigh 173.

A little refresh of my journey. My Goal weight with Weight Watchers is 160. My highest weight ever, was 212. A year and a half ago, I got to 160, then went into the 150’s and maintained that for a few months. When the holidays rolled around last year, I creeped back into the 160’s and never have been back at my goal weight of 160. I’ve gained 5, lost 5, gained 7, lost 5, gained 4, lost 2…..basically for the last year.

I joined Weight Watcher’s in 2009 because I wanted to be healthy. I have drastically changed the way that I cook and the foods that I eat, yet I still struggle with over eating.

I very rarely eat Fast Food, I eat very little processed foods, I drink very little diet soda, I eat a lot of chicken and salmon, I drink a ton of water and I eat a lot of fruits and veggiesI I am putting good things into my body.

I started taking Yoga classes in May and I really like it, and I love to walk.

These are all great things that have contributed to a much healthier life style for me and have helped me to feel like a healthy person. Yes, even at 173, I feel like a very healthy person.

But…….I over eat. I eat too much fruit. I eat too many sweet potatoes. I eat too much salmon. I eat too many raw nuts. I eat too much hummus with my veggies. I eat too much cheese and I drink too much wine. 

There are days that I have it completely under control. There are days that I don’t at all.

As a Wegiht Watcher member, or anyone trying to lose weight and eat healthy, you are advised to indulge once in a while so you don’t feel deprived. That’s tough for me. If I eat 10 peanut M&M’s, I am NOT satisfied! I want more! I’ll eat them until I feel sick. After eating 10 Peanut M&M’s, now I have the taste in my mouth, and it’s all that I can think about. I’d be much better off not eating any at all. 

Would it be realistic for an alcoholic to drink one drink? Probably not.

Would it be realistic for a drug addict to do just a little bit of drugs? I don’t think so.

Being addicted to food, means that every single day, several times a day, you are faced with your addiction, and then making the decision of what food and how much food you will put into your mouth.

(I am in no way saying that it would be easier for me to be an alcoholic or a drug addict.  I am just saying that food addiction, whether it even be a real thing or not, is weird, because obviously, food is needed for survival, but this is a thought that I have had before. Please forgive me if it sounds completely ignorant.)

There are days that I am so strong, nothing can keep me from making the right choices. Then there are days where I start out strong, then I trip, then I fall, then I beat myself up, and I make excuses, and I care, and then I don’t care, and then the emotional roller coaster begins. Those day’s can be so exhausting, and then I become frustrated with myself for letting it consume so much of me and my thoughts and my time.

I remember when I got into the 150’s, how proud of myself I was. At some point, the compliments became embarrassing and I couldn’t figure out why. I’m one of those people that loves attention. Why was this bothering me? Then after some deep thought, I figured it out.

If I walked into a room full of people, and someone complimented me, it was like shouting to the room, “Look everyone! Julie seems to have her food issues under control right now.”

Then 10 pounds came back. Walking into a crowded room, I felt like my body was shouting….”Yep. I’ve lost all control. I’ve been weak. I’ve failed. I eat all the time. I have a problem with Food. Hi everybody!”

I do remember worrying about that when I got into the 150’s. What if I gain weight back? What will people think?

I wish I didn’t care, but I’m human, and I think’s it’s completely normal to think and feel that way. I would imagine anyone that has lost weight, then gained some back, would likely agree with me.

I’ve noticed something else.

When things in life are going really well, family life, social life, work life, weighing whatever I weigh, even 170, everything seems okay. I find myself looking at the big picture. My health. I feel strong, I feel healthy, I make new goals, I feel in control, I pat myself on the back and I move forward.

When things in life are NOT going really well, for whatever reason, my weight bothers me like crazy!! I beat myself up about every bad decision, and the good decisions go completely unrecognized.

I walked into my meeting on Friday, and I saw a member that I had not seen in a while. When I asked her how she was, she replied, “not good”. I knew immediately that she was referring to the number on the scale more than she was referring to her life. I had done the same thing. In the opposite way as well. I have a good weigh in, someone ask how I am, I reply “Great! You?”

I told her that I wasn’t really asking her how her weigh in went, but how was life? We laughed and agreed that our attitudes about our weigh in (not really so much our current weight) typically reflected how our life was going at the time.

We had a good chat, and agreed that we were leaving the meeting feeling much better than we had than when we had walked in the door.

I don’t really know how to end this post today, but today I feel really good. Tuesday I might feel like crap. Who knows.

It really is “One Day at a Time”, “One Meal at a Time”, “One Bite at a Time”, and that’s the best way that I can describe it.

Today, I feel good. This is me. 173. 

I have no idea why I looked up, maybe for guidance.

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Now I’m headed out the door for a date afternoon of watching the Chiefs game over a long lunch with my hubby, then maybe a movie.

Go Chiefs! 

 

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

The Bug

December 4, 2014

Tess was vomiting and had a fever all day on Saturday. Then we received a text from my son asking if anyone at our house was sick. Then we all started exchanging text and realized that at least 10 of the 21 people that were here for Thanksgiving had experienced some tummy issues and/or fever!

Mike and I had somehow escaped the bug, I thought.

Yesterday, around 3:00 in the afternoon, I realized that I had no appetite at all. Later, I felt nauseous. I ended up eating very little and sleeping a lot! I never actually did get sick, but I was extremely nauseous. Still am.

I hope if I’ve seen you in the last few days, I didn’t pass on anything I might have! I thought I was safe!

Breakfast

I’ve tasted several of the Greek Yogurts out there that are Pumpkin, and this was a favorite. It has Pumpkin Puree in it, and it was 21 Grams of Protein!

 

Pumpkin Greek Yogurt

5 PPV

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Lunch

I haven’t bought this bread in a while, but it’s my favorite and it’s only 1 PointsPlus per piece! It’s a little nutty and it makes great toast!

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1 T. Almond Butter on Toast

4 PPV

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Weight Watcher’s Points Plus

I can eat 26 PPV a day.

I can earn Activity Points by doing exercise, and eat them if I choose.

I have an allowance of 49 extra points that I can dip into throughout the week if I choose.

I should drink a minimum of 6 (8 oz) glasses of water each day.

My Weight Watcher Week Begins on Friday’s

 

Breakfast = Greek Yogurt (5)

Lunch = Almond Butter and Toast (4)

Total = 9

Exercise = none

Activity Points Earned for the Day = 6

Activity Points Earned This Week = 6

Activity Points Remaining This Week = 6

How many glasses of water I drank for the day = 6

Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0

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“love the life you live, live the life you love”

After talking it over with Tucker for a couple of weeks now, last night he and I created a Instagram Account for him.

No.

I am not kidding.

He even posted some pic’s and got a few followers!

He can be a real pain, but he can be super smart too! I hardly did any of this at all.

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In other news, I got in a Yoga class, had lunch with a few Yoga friends, made a trip to Sprouts and Trader Joe’s, and did a little Christmas shopping!

They were sampling this at Trader Joe’s, and I’m a HUGE hot drink person, so I picked up a box and sipped on it all night last night!

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Here are yesterday’s eats! 

Breakfast

Scrambled Egg Whites, Salsa

Light English Muffin

with One Wedge of Cinnamon Laughing Cow Cheese

5 PPV

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Lunch

Chicken Tortilla Soup

Blackened Salmon Caesar Salad

13 PPV

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Dinner

Chicken and Roasted Veggies

8 PPV

I made a large tray of Roasted Veggies using THIS recipe. I loved the way these carrots looked! I found these at Sprouts. I didn’t even peel them!

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I found this Mr. Potato Head at Sprouts too, and couldn’t resist!

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Those veggies, along with a red onion and a few brussels sprouts made a great combo!

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For the chicken, I cut up about 1 pound of chicken tenders (chicken breast would work too) into bites sized pieces and marinated them for about an hour in this marinade.

2 T. Olive Oil

1 tsp Sea Salt

1 tsp Cracked Black Pepper

1 tsp Italian Seasoning

 

After the chicken was marinated, I cooked it in a large skillet until cooked through. I then added the cooked Roasted Veggies to the skillet to reheat them.

I love this meal!! So does Mike! He likes everything. I’ve said that before, right?

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Weight Watcher’s Points Plus

I can eat 26 PPV a day.

I can earn Activity Points by doing exercise, and eat them if I choose.

I have an allowance of 49 extra points that I can dip into throughout the week if I choose.

I should drink a minimum of 6 (8 oz) glasses of water each day.

My Weight Watcher Week Begins on Friday’s

 

Breakfast = Eggs, English Muffin, Laughing Cow Cheese (5)

Lunch =  Soup and Salad (13)

Dinner = Chicken and Veggies (8)

Total = 26

Exercise = Yoga Class 

Activity Points Earned for the Day = 3

Activity Points Earned This Week = 6

Activity Points Remaining This Week = 6

How many glasses of water I drank for the day = 8

Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0

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“love the life you live, live the life you love”

A Good Day!

December 2, 2014

I made it to the Hot Yoga class, I got a lot of Christmas shopping done, I did a few chores, I had dinner planned and Mike and I enjoyed a quiet night on the couch with a fire going, the Christmas Tree lights sparkling, and watching a Country Christmas show hosted by Jennifer Nettles. I can’t remember the name of it, but I loved all of the music and while I watched it, I sipped on Candy Cane flavored coffee!

Today will be a real close repeat to yesterday. I’m headed out to yoga now, I’ve got dinner planned (Chicken and Roasted Veggies) and a Christmas shopping list ready to go!

I hope you have a Healthy and Happy Day!

Here are yesterday’s eats.

  

Breakfast

Sweet Potato and Scrambled Egg Whites

Frothy Coffee

5 PPV

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Snack

Weight Watchers’s Vanilla Smoothie Mix

with Frozen Banana’s and Strawberries

Smoothie Packet, 1 cup cold water, 1 cup ice, frozen fruit

2 PPV

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Lunch

Grilled Cheese and Apple Sandwich

Apple Slices and Sautéed Zucchini

8 PPV

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I could have made this lower in points, but the bread that I used was 5 PointsPlus for 2 slices and I used 2 slices of cheese instead of 1 to hold the apple slices in there. I’ll be heading to Trader Joe’s today to buy my 1 point per slice bread! This was yummy. I loved the crunch and sweetness in the sandwich! 

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Snack

Un-Pictured Baked Chips

3 PPV

I counted out a serving of chips to have with my taco salad, then ended up eating them while waiting on Mike to get home. My salad tasted just fine without them, but I would have liked it better with those chips!! 🙂

Carrots and Hummus

2 PPV

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Dinner

Not Your Mama’s Taco Salad topped with 1/4 Smashed Avocado

8 PPV

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Weight Watcher’s Points Plus

I can eat 26 PPV a day.

I can earn Activity Points by doing exercise, and eat them if I choose.

I have an allowance of 49 extra points that I can dip into throughout the week if I choose.

I should drink a minimum of 6 (8 oz) glasses of water each day.

My Weight Watcher Week Begins on Friday’s

 

Breakfast = Sweet Potato, Egg Whites, Frothy Coffee (5)

Snack = Smoothie (2)

Lunch =  Grilled Cheese and Apple Sandwich, Zucc, Apple (8)

Snack = chips, veggies, hummus (5)

Dinner = Taco Salad (8)

Total = 28

Exercise = Hot Yoga

Activity Points Earned for the Day = 3

Activity Points Earned This Week = 3

Activity Points Remaining This Week = 3

How many glasses of water I drank for the day = 8

Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0

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“love the life you live, live the life you love”

The Perfect Thanksgiving

December 1, 2014

Tess came in town for the Thanksgiving Holiday early last Monday morning, and I just took her to the airport last night. We had almost an entire week together and I loved every minute of it!

I spent two full days getting the house ready for Thanksgiving, and the rest of the week, we spent having lunches, coffees and dinners with lots of family and friends.

We had 21 family members here for Dinner, and it was The Perfect Thanksgiving!

How Mike didn’t realize that a large portion of his face was covered up, I have no idea….and, not ONE grandkid cooperated for this picture, but from goofy to prayerful to irritated to completely oblivious, their expressions and this whole family picture makes me smile!

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I had so much fun getting the tables ready!

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I loved the chalk table runners that I found! Everyone loved that they were included in one way or another.

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It was a simple and inexpensive way to have a fun table setting!

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Everyone pitched in and brought side dishes, so getting dinner together and serving it all warm at the same time actually worked out really well!

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We had a great time hanging out after dinner playing checkers, playing pool, eating pies, and of course lots of loving! Baby Charlotte took her first steps this week and she won’t be ONE until February! Look at that face!! Look at that hair!!

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Everyone chipped in to help clean up and I was on the couch and in my pi’s by 7:30! It really was the perfect Thanksgiving!

Aside from a great Thanksgiving Feast, the night before the big feast, Tess and I had girls night out with my nieces on my side of the family!

I drank wine, but ordered a really yummy salad!

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Me, my nieces Jessie and Carla, my daughter Tess. Do we look related?

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We had breakfast with some of my high school girl friends on the morning after the Thanksgiving Feast, and Tess and I shared a meal! I think I was still full from Thanksgiving. We had a great chat and got all caught up!

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Friday, I spent the rest of the day decorating for Christmas!

Tess will say that she helped, but mostly she was horizontal on the couch and watched, me, and it was good.

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With kids and spouses and grandkids, we now have 12 stockings!

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This Fall Decoration turned into a Christmas Decoration really easy! I love pine cones and red stuff!!

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Pine Cones and red stuff!

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Pine Cones and red stuff!!

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One of my favorite parts of the house, the entry!

Maybe I just need to sit on a chair in front of it for a while with a cup of hot chocolate and enjoy it. OR…maybe I make all of my guest just stare at it for a few minutes???

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Most importantly, look who got a new bow tie!!

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Okay, that’s all for the festivities….

I didn’t track or blog all week long. I basically quit my walking challenge, I drank too much wine and I ate too much pumpkin bread.

Yesterday, I got back on track. I actually had points left at the end of the day for a Latte while I sat on the couch and enjoyed the Christmas Tree.

This morning I went to a 60 minute Hot Yoga class, and right now I feel great!

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Here are yesterday’s eats!

Breakfast

Zucchini, Red Onion, Sweet Potato, Egg

Frothy Coffee

7 PPV

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Lunch

Nonfat Plain Greek Yogurt

2 T. PB2 Powder, Banana

3 PPV

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Dinner

Salmon Caesar

12 PPV

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Snack

Tall Nonfat Latte with 1 Pump Sugar Free Caramel

3 PPV

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Weight Watcher’s Points Plus

I can eat 26 PPV a day.

I can earn Activity Points by doing exercise, and eat them if I choose.

I have an allowance of 49 extra points that I can dip into throughout the week if I choose.

I should drink a minimum of 6 (8 oz) glasses of water each day.

My Weight Watcher Week Begins on Friday’s

 

Breakfast = Veggies, Egg, Frothy Coffee (7)

Lunch =  Yogurt (3)

Dinner = Salmon Salad (12)

Snack = Latte (3)

Total = 25

Exercise = none

Activity Points Earned for the Day = 0

Activity Points Earned This Week = 0

Activity Points Remaining This Week = 0

How many glasses of water I drank for the day = 8

Remaining points from my 49 Points Allowance = 0

 feeling-thankful

“love the life you live, live the life you love”