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It’s a DIEP Subject

December 12, 2017 — 44 Comments

Surgery is in three days and I so wish that I was sitting here writing my 2 week post-op update.

I am nervous, ready and admittedly a bit scared.

I had a pre-op appointment with the plastic surgeon on Friday for my surgery this week.

Before reading the rest of this post, please know that I am truly grateful that I am alive and that I found my cancer early. I know there are many women that have traveled this road and their road has been longer and much more challenging than mine.

That being said, the last 5 months have been filled with appointments, phone calls, test, results and more decisions than I ever thought possible. 


In case you didn’t know……

On August 31st, six weeks after being diagnosed with breast cancer, I had a double mastectomy.

I am scheduled for DIEP Flap breast reconstruction on December 14th. You can click HERE for a full description of DIEP Flap. 

Basically, the plastic surgeon performs a tummy tuck and uses your skin, tissue and blood vessels and transfers those to your chest to make new breast. 

This was the option I chose almost immediately after my diagnosis because I really do not want to have any implants and I loved the idea of having my own tissue to use to make new breast.

Typically, the women that chose this option have had complication with implants following a mastectomy or like myself, like the idea of having breast made of their own tissue.



I went to the plastic surgeons office with a long list of questions that I had come up with for my surgery. Tess is staying in town for my surgery, so she accompanied me and Mike to my appointment. I wanted the three of us to be as informed as we could be about the surgery and know what to expect post-op.

I am very eager to have the tissue expanders removed. Tissue expanders are put in following a mastectomy to prepare for breast reconstruction and they are extremely uncomfortable.

I had my questions all prepared and I knew that I would leave the pre-op appointment feeling confident and ready, just as I had with my mastectomy.

Several weeks ago, I had a CT scan for this upcoming surgery. The reason for the CT scan is to look at the blood vessels in the belly area to make sure that they are large enough to use as connectors to the blood vessels in the chest area. This allows the transferred tissue to survive. That’s the best way that I can describe it. 

I assumed that if my veins did not look like they would make me a candidate for this surgery, that I would have heard from the doctor. 

The doc comes in the room on Friday and tells us that he has not looked at my CT scan yet.

My heart sank.

He apologized and left the room to look at the CT scan.

I really love my plastic surgeon, but at this very moment I wanted to punch him in the face.

I came in with questions about my scheduled DIEP flap surgery that is scheduled in just a few short days and now I find out that he doesn’t even know if I’m a candidate for the surgery????

I looked at Tess and Mike with a blank stare and knew that we were all thinking the same thing. WTF?

We sat in silence and waited.

The doc came back in.

He told us that one side has veins that he thinks that he can work with, but the other side is going to be a challenge because the veins are very small.

He wants to give the surgery a try, but he will not know for sure if it will work until he gets in there. If the surgery does work, it could take an additionally 2 hours. If the surgery will not work, he will complete the tummy tuck, but needed to know what I wanted to do about my breast.


Mike asked him if he thought that we had at least a 50% percent chance that the DIEP flap would work to which the doc replied, “Maybe”.

Then we had to go into a discussion about what I wanted to do if the surgery isn’t a success.

I was a mess. I was upset that I was just finding this out. I was upset because I really do not want implants and I’m not ready to be flat either. It was a lot of unexpected emotions and decision making that left me feeling defeating when we left the office. Not at all the appointment that I was expecting.

I have talked to so many women with breast cancer that have had all sorts of complications with their implants and that was all that I could think about. 

I have until Thursday to decide. 

These are my options.

If neither side works for the DIEP flap, implants?

If he is able to do one breast with the DIEP flap, do I want one DEIP flap breast and one implant?

If neither side works, do I want to forget about implants altogether and be flat?

I’m kinda cranky knowing that I will find out when I wake up whether the surgery was a success or not.

Prayers and Good Vibes accepted and Fingers Crossed that all goes well.


P.S. Mike has been awesome through everything, and as much as I worry about what he is comfortable with, he assures me that he is just glad I’m around.

Lucky girl.


“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Christmas 2017

December 11, 2017 — 8 Comments

Good Afternoon All!

It has been a full few days here at the Farmer house.

I picked up Tess and Manuel and Tucker at the airport on Wednesday night and we’ve been going full speed ahead ever since in preparation for our Holiday Weekend.

On Friday night the four of us went to a party at a friends house and we had a great night. It was fun to have Tess and Manuel along to spend an evening with our friends. I was also reminded that me and my friends have very inappropriate conversations when we get together and I did have to keep reminding them that my daughter was in the room! Nobody listened. lol. It was a really fun night.

On Saturday our kids and grandkids came over around noon for our family Christmas. After gifts and stockings, our parents, aunts and uncles and cousins joined us. We had a great evening passing babies around while also grazing on snacks.

Tess and Manuel and our daughter Anne and her family had planned to spend the night since they are in from out of town. Then our son Jake and his wife and daughter surprised us and spent the night too! We had a full house and a happy Sunday morning. Everyone ended up staying well into the late afternoon and our family Christmas was everything that I hoped that it would be.

Jake captured some great photo’s.


Mike with the three new grand babies. You gotta be quick to get a photo!!


Princess Wrenley


Sweet Sawyer.


How adorable is Kingston with my new pillow??


We tried.


The best picture of the weekend.

Mike’s parents with their great grand babies.


“love the life you live, live the life you love”

I’m super excited to introduce the Weight Watcher Freestyle plan that rolls out today! Some of you may have heard a few rumors floating around on WW Connect or Instagram. As a WW Leader and WW Ambassador, I have been sworn to secrecy!

Today I get to share the new plan with you!

If you are not a WW member, and you’d like to go into 2018 feeling more in control, have more energy, feel healthier and shed some pounds, this is a great time to join Weight Watchers!

To the current WW members…..Embrace the Change!

Weight Watchers Freestyle has added more Zero SmartPoints foods to the already amazing list of Zero SmartPoints foods. This will offer members more flexibility and freedom on the Weight Watcher plan.

I love the new list of foods!

Not only are there more Zero SmartPoints foods to choose from, but the list has been designed to make tracking even easier. You do not need to measure, weigh or track the Zero SmartPoint foods. Of course, if you want to track them, you certainly can. Its up to you! Flexibility! Freedom!

You can find a complete list of Weight Watcher Zero SmartPoints Foods by clicking HERE.

These are the new Zero SmartPoint foods added to the list!

  • Nonfat Plain Unsweetened Yogurt (Soy and Greek included)
  • Skinless Chicken Breast, 99% Fat Free Ground Chicken
  • Skinlesss Turkey Breast, 99% Fat Free Ground Turkey
  • Eggs (Yolk included)
  • Fish (Even Salmon!!)
  • Shellfish
  • Beans
  • Lentils
  • Tofu
  • Corn 
  • Peas

Zero SmartPoints Fruits and Vegetables are fresh (raw or cooked), frozen or drained canned with no added sugar or oil.

Zero SmartPoints Poultry and Seafood is fresh (raw or cooked), frozen or canned in Zero SmartPoints values sauces or spices, with no added oil

Here are a few facts for current members to help you get started this week.

  • Your Daily SmartPoints will be lower. Your Weekly SmartPoints will not change.
  • Weight Watchers Freestyle changes will show up in your app on your weigh in day this week!
  • The new BuleDot range will be 10 below your Daily SmartPoints and 5 above your Daily SmartPoints.
  • You can Rollover 4 SmartPoints each day to use during the week. Click HERE for details on how to use your Rollovers.
  • Recipes stored in the Recipe Builder in your WW App will reflect the new Zero SmartPoints foods.

Vegetarian? Click HERE for Weight Watchers Vegetarian Style.

Vegan? Click HERE for Weight Watchers Vegan Style.

Please feel free to comment with any questions, and I will be more than happy to answer your questions. If I do not know the answer, I have several resources to reach out to and find the answer for you.

Happy Freestylin!!

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Take Good Care of Yourself

December 2, 2017 — 4 Comments


Happy Saturday!

Thankfully I am feeling much better.

Thursday and Friday I felt like myself again. Lab work all came back fine. I truly think that last week I had a bug or food poisoning, then my body hadn’t quite recovered from that before I started a liquid diet to prep for my colonoscopy. I think I was just super dehydrated and that was the reason for my nausea and light headed feeling. Dodged a bullet there! Phew.

I feel much better now and my goal is to take good care of myself and stay healthy for the next 12 days so surgery will go as scheduled.

To stay healthy and avoid any type of cold or cough, we will be spending as much time at home as possible.

Before “cancer”, the blog was all about me learning to live my life in a much healthier way than I had in years past.

I will continue to blog about my health and I will now include a monthly reminder to  “FEEL IT ON THE FIRST” (I plan to post this on the 1st of each month. Oops. A day late.)

Please don’t forget to take good care of yourself and FEEL IT ON THE FIRST. Each month, make it a practice to do a self breast exam and check for lumps, bumps or changes. Men too! Early detection can be a life saver!


Date Night

Last night we had date night at home. Okay, it wasn’t really date night, but I did want to hang out together and Mike really wanted to work on the Master Bath.

If you are fairly new to the blog, before cancer and floods and all that crap that was thrown at us over the last few months, Mike had started to remodel our Master Bath. Well, then he had to take a break from that and deal with the curveballs. Now he’s back at it! Yay!

This is the bathroom before he got started on it back in June. We built this house 18 years ago and made the best choices to fit our budget at the time. That meant carpet and this shower.


Mike has been wanting a tile shower and floor for a while now, and knew that one day he would do just that. He also wants all tile walls around the tub.

Here he goes. He’s super handy!


The new plumbing was installed over the last few days and now Mike is getting the walls ready to tile. Did I mention that he is super handy??


Date night was us chatting in the bathroom. No joke!

Oh, and I tried some new face mask. Right here he’s talking tile and I’m pondering if this mask is a good idea or not. I have super sensitive skin.


This didn’t go well. I peeled off some, then washed the rest off. I think I’ll stick to the clay mask that you wash off. If you’re on Instagram, you can click HERE and watch a video of me trying to peel this off. HOT MESS!!

Okay, my skin actually does feel good today.


Still not craving anything or cooking anything exciting, but I do still enjoy my eggs/avocados for breakfast/brunch/linch/dinner…you know. Pretty much all the time.

Sweet Potato Toast (Slice a cooked sweet potato and toss it in the skillet with a little cooking spray or oil and season as desired) with Avocado and Everything But the Bagel seasoning from Trader Joe’s and Eggs.


Eggs and Avocado Toast…like actual toast. 🙂


Soft Boiled Eggs on Sweet Potato Hash


Happy Saturday! I can hear Mike up there working away. I’ve got to get off my butt, eat an egg and get a walk in. It’s a beautiful day in Kansas City!

Take good care of yourself and have a happy and healthy weekend!

2017 Goals
Make time each week to Meal Plan
Drink 100 ounces of water each day
Exercise 5 days a week
Eat three meals and one snack daily
FOUR 100 Mile Walking Challenges this year! (This goal has changed a little now that I have this fabulous Fitbit.)

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Just Two Weeks To Go!

December 1, 2017 — 10 Comments


What a crazy last few days. I know. Story of 2017.

Wednesday, I went to the hospital for a Pre-admittance appointment where they drew blood and I filled out paperwork. We talked about the importance of me staying healthy until surgery. Lots of hand washing, avoiding sick people, and so on.

I left that appointment and four hours later I was vomiting. It also happened to be my birthday.

Thursday, Thanksgiving, still sick. Yep. Missed the whole day.

Friday was meh….I moved slow. No vomiting.

Saturday I felt fine and we went to dinner with some family. Had a great evening. All good.

Sunday, nausea again. Light headed. Felt like I was going to faint a few times. Clammy feeling. No fever or vomiting, just nausea, light headed and sweating.

Monday. Same. I also was prepping for my colonoscopy, scheduled for Tuesday, so liquid diet on Monday.

Monday afternoon at 3:00, I felt awful. Weak, like I really needed some nourishment. Possibly dehydrated from the previous days?

Upon the advice of my doctor, we canceled my colonoscopy and I ate, drank some Gatorade and drank lots of water.

Tuesday, I went to see my general practitioner. They drew blood, did a urinalysis and checked for the flu. The flu test was negative. Now I wait.

The rest of the day I slept. Nausea but no vomiting.

Wednesday I felt pretty good in the morning. Ate breakfast, piddled around the house moving slowly but accomplishing a few simple task. At noon I had lunch, then took a shower. While in the shower, I vomited. Ugh.

I really don’t feel sick, I just feel nauseous and light headed. Hard to explain really, but things just feel foggy. No explanation other than possibly just dehydrated.

I really have no idea what is going on and now I’m just waiting for any lab results to give me a hint, or to miraculously all of a sudden feel like myself.

I called my surgeons office on Tuesday to talk to my nurse, Jenny. I just wanted to check in and let them know what was happening and what my concerns were.

I love my nurse Jenny and she talked me through all of my concerns.

She said my main concern right now needs to be staying healthy. A sore throat, a cough, any congestion, and certainly feeling nauseous or light headed could make postponing my surgery a possibility.

I said that I understood, then hung up and lost it.

I have been counting the days to this surgery. I’ve tried so hard to get back to normal as much as possible. Have some fun. Enjoy life. Enjoy working. But my brain has been consumed with the thoughts of this surgery. 

I want to have my surgery and move forward. I want to get out of this mentality of temporary.

In order to prevent any sore throats, coughs, germs, etc, I will work my At Work WW Meeting on Monday, then I have subs for the remainder of the year. I’m going to stay in my little bubble and avoid the risk of catching even the slightest cold.

I’m still waiting on the doc to call with lab results.

At the end of the day (It’s Thursday), I have felt fine all day. Even took a walk.


We are celebrating Christmas this year on December 9th. Tess and Manuel and Tucker will be here on the 6th. Anne and her family will come in on the 9th and spend the night. I’m really looking forward to having the houseful of our kids and grandkids. 

We are having a Family Christmas Open House late in the afternoon.

Thankfully, I shopped early this year and I have almost everything wrapped.

Santa even stopped by Sunday while I moved slowly around the house and filled the stockings!


I saw this pillow at Kohl’s and had to have it!


I’ve been spending a lot of time in that chair, and it needed a festive pillow.


I kept the decorations simple this year, but I like it.

It felt different to decorate this year with my new gray walls. It felt like I needed to simplify, so I did.

Entry. Christmas past.


Entry. Christmas present.



Guest Bathroom. Christmas past.


Guest Bathroom. Christmas present.



I found this cute little runner at Target. I’ll fill this table with cookies when the family comes over.


Always fun for the kids.


I have most of the gifts wrapped.


I bought my gift wrap at The Container Store this year. Have you bought wrapping paper there before? This paper is really thick and I like it!

They had some cute displays of wrapped packages, so I decided to have a little fun this year with gift wrap.

This is a gift for all 8 of the grandkids. I can’t wait until they open it!



All decorated and ready.


Here’s to 14 days of good health!

 I hope you all are having a great week!

2017 Goals
Make time each week to Meal Plan
Drink 100 ounces of water each day
Exercise 5 days a week
Eat three meals and one snack daily
FOUR 100 Mile Walking Challenges this year! (This goal has changed a little now that I have this fabulous Fitbit.)

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Just Over a Month To Go!

November 25, 2017 — 8 Comments

Happy Saturday!

In my last post, I talked about what a great day I had on Tuesday. Tuesday was the last day of being 50, and although several things have happened over the last year that haven’t been so great, I decided to embrace 50 and celebrate it as the year that me and my family were strong enough to overcome obstacles.

I did things that I really enjoy on Tuesday and it was a great day.

Wednesday, my birthday, I had a Pre-op dr. appointment first thing in the morning at the hospital to do lab work and fill out paperwork for my upcoming surgery. We talked about the importance of me washing my hands and avoiding sick people over these next three weeks so I can be sure to go into surgery feeling my best. Any upper respiratory problems could stall surgery due to the fact that you have a breathing tube during surgery. Got it. Stay healthy. Wash hands. Proceed.

I was at the hospital for almost two hours. I was in really good mood and everyone I met was really sweet. I actually didn’t mind spending my birthday morning at this appointment. They have a great coffee shop at the hospital, so when I was all done, I grabbed a yummy coffee as a birthday treat and headed out.

On my drive home, I stopped to pick up Mike and I some lunch to bring home. While waiting for our order, I read some really sweet birthday text messages and took a few birthday calls. I was enjoying my day and looking forward to our daughter Anne and her family coming over for the evening to spend the night and Thanksgiving morning together. Then we would all go to my In-laws for Thanksgiving.

After lunch, I planned to do just a little housework before Anne and her family got to the house. I picked up some pizza’s for dinner and was excited for our evening and Thanksgiving Day.

At about 2:30-3:00 pm on Wednesday, I started to feel just a tad light headed and nauseous.

By 4:00 pm I was vomiting.

We had to cancel Anne and her family coming over.

I spent my birthday night and all of Thanksgiving in my bedroom vomiting or sleeping.

That’s right. More 2017 fun!!

As I sent Mike out the door on Thanksgiving, I said…”I seriously can not believe this is how I am going to spend Thanksgiving this year”, to which he replied, “We have just over a month to go”, and then we both just laughed, knowing this year has brought a lot of crappy memories.

I’m not sure if I brought home a stomach bug from the hospital or had food poising from my lunch, but I’m fine now.

Yesterday I moved slow, drank Gatorade and ate dry toast.

I also decorated the mantel, but kept is simple this year. I had the Hallmark Channel on and I know all of the Hallmark Christmas movies now.


Speaking of Hallmark movies, tonight on the Hallmark Channel is a movie called The Christmas Train, starring Dermot Mulroney and Danny Glover. During the movie, there will be a commercial about the Healing Chair! It would be great if the Healing Chair could be in every city! This was so helpful in recovery following my double mastectomy. The chair will be delivered again for my surgery in December and I am so thankful that it will be here and for the volunteers that make this possible.

We have dinner plans tonight with some of my family and I’m looking forward to an uneventful evening. One can only hope!

I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family or friends and that you focused on all that you are Thankful & Grateful for.

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Thankful & Grateful

November 22, 2017 — 12 Comments

Hi Friends!

While I have not been blogging or posting much on Instagram, I have been enjoying family and friends and staying focused on feeling Thankful & Grateful.

One year ago today I turned 50. I loved turning 50. I was feeling good about my health and my life and I was so happy to be headed to Dallas for Weight Watcher Leader Training. Everything in life was feeling really good.

Yesterday, as I went into the last day of my 50th year, I didn’t like that my memory of 50 would now be associated with my breast cancer diagnosis and all of the things that came for our family following my diagnosis. 

I wanted my memory of 50 to be all about how great I was feeling in life and the goals that I had achieved.

I decided to make my memory of 50 about overcoming obstacles.

I decided to make yesterday, the last day of 50, a truly great day by doing things that I love and thinking about my success and my families success in overcoming obstacles, and that’s exactly what I did. It was a truly great day.

I worked at two of our Weight Watcher meeting locations, filling in for one of my coworkers. I love being able to Lead meetings at the stores. The members truly are so welcoming and friendly.

Our meeting topic this week, What Are You Thankful For, gave me all sorts of good feels. Not only did the members have great things that they were Thankful & Grateful for, but this was the perfect opportunity for me to be Thankful & Grateful for being able to overcome the obstacles that had been presented to our family this past year. It was a great work day!

Later in the afternoon, my mom came over and gave me a foot massage. She knows this makes me very happy.

After Mom left, I curled up in my big chair by the fireplace with a cup of coffee and started this blog post. I really miss you guys.

Tess called and we had a nice chat. Love me some mother/daughter time.

Then, I went to a girlfriends house for a spur of the moment get together before a few friends head out of town for Thanksgiving.

I came home late to finish up this blog post, something I truly love.

I ended 50 blogging.

I’m going to remember 50 as the year that me and my family were able to overcome obstacles and I will remember that the last day of 50 was a really good day.

I’m feeling Thankful & Grateful


This past weekend, we got my mom moved into her new apartment. We spent part of Friday, all day Saturday and a little time on Sunday getting her situated. Mom has a real knack for making things cozy and her new apartment looks like home already and she is super happy. She had several friends from her work step in to help and I honestly don’t know how we would have gotten it all done without them.

Thankful & Grateful!

This girl came to town Wednesday!


I picked up my daughter Tess and her fiancé Manuel and Tucker at the airport Wednesday evening.

Tucker experienced his first flight and was a real champ! It was fun to have him back home for a long weekend. He has had a rough month with a digestive disease but  he is doing much better thanks to him mom and dad, Tess and Manuel. They are going to make great parents one day! This is one loved dog.


We had our first Thanksgiving dinner here on Saturday and we had a happy houseful.

I simplified things this year by accepting the fact that it is okay to eat Thanksgiving Dinner off of paper plates (but the really good kind!).

I also decided that I would order a smoked Turkey and a Honey Baked Ham and spend less time cooking.

The Turkey and the Ham were both amazing.

The Turkey practically fell apart as Shelby carved it. Delish!


My mom is always in charge of the dressing and the sweet potatoes. Thanks Mom!


Lots of Thankful & Grateful people here…..


I even kept my decor simple by placing these around the house.


All that simplicity left lots of playtime before and after dinner. Aunt Tess was catching up on baby snuggles.


Our daughter Anne and her family were not able to make it up from Oklahoma for our Saturday meal, but they will be here on Thanksgiving Day for dinner number two!

Here is a recent picture of her three. These three could not look more alike! I can’t wait to see them all.


We are so Thankful & Grateful for our three new grand babies this year!

Kingston, in the picture above, is now 3 months old.

Below is Sawyer (6 months) and Wrenley (8 months) just chillin on Saturday.

Look at those cute little baby toes!


That face! Such a happy baby.


Those cheeks! This one giggles a LOT! (So happy my grand babies sit in this high chair I found at an antique store a few years back.)


These guys. Thankful & Grateful for all of them.


The girls asked me if I would like for them to put the tree up. Um…..YES PLEASE!!

Kate and Jordan put on the lights. I love you girls.

Thankful & Grateful


All the girls, even the little ones, hung all of the ornaments.

I sat in the chair and watched.

It was heaven.

Thankful & Grateful


The house was just the way I like it. Full and happy.


With the three new babies this year, we now have 18 stockings hanging!


I may keep Christmas super simple this year too! The living room feels cozy with just the tree and the stockings.


Our daughter Anne and her family will be here tonight and spend the night at our house. I’m so looking forward to having them all to ourselves for the night.

We will be having Thanksgiving Dinner at my In-Laws and the only thing I have to take is a requested salad from a restaurant up the street. The only thing I have to do is remember to pick it up today!

Feeling Thankful & Grateful!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Thankful & Grateful for each and every one of you.


2017 Goals
Make time each week to Meal Plan
Drink 100 ounces of water each day
Exercise 5 days a week
Eat three meals and one snack daily
FOUR 100 Mile Walking Challenges this year! (This goal has changed a little now that I have this fabulous Fitbit.)

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

Loving Fall

November 10, 2017

Happy Friday!

I am loving all of the trees these past several days. The only bummer is that these gorgeous leaves fall off of the trees so quickly!

I am trying to soak up as much of it as I can.

The view out my back door.


I love walking up my street right now.


I’ve had a few days of over 10,000 steps this week and I thank these trees and their gorgeous colors for getting me outside.

Fall perfection right here. No filter, just pretty colors hanging out on the sidewalk before the wind takes them away.


On November 5th, I participated in the “5K LUNG evity Walk and Fun Run to End Lung Cancer” with the goofballs pictured below.

My friend, Liz (in the red hat) was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier this year. She has been through chemo and radiation and is back at work now and doing great! She had several friends that signed up to support her and walk with her, and although she had many opportunities for short cuts in the walk, she completed the entire thing!

We all had a great day together, even through the light drizzle and chilly temps.


Not only was I happy to walk with her, but I was also all about the tree’s and the view.


Union Station and Chiefs pride!



A little peek of the city….and a beautiful tree.


Have you ever walked a 5K while carrying a Mimosa? Well, there’s a first time for everything. 


Mission accomplished!! Nice job Liz and Dooley!


Not only am I loving the Fall tree colors, but I’m also loving Fall comfort food like Butternut Squash Chili, Mom’s V-8 Soup,  Turkey Spaghetti and Turkey Chili.

Fall seems like the best time to try a new squash recipe.

Have you ever tried Delicata Squash?

I had two of them on the counter that needed to be cooked, and after looking at a few recipes, here is what I came up with.

We both loved this!

Think…Sweet Potato Fries….Kinda….Sorta…..


Roasted Delicata Squash
Serves 4
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  1. 2 Delicata Squash, sliced (Leave skin on)
  2. 3 T. Olive Oil
  3. 2 T. Pure Maple Syrup
  4. Sea Salt
  5. Cinnamon
  1. Mix Oil and Syrup in a large bowl.
  2. Add squash and mix well.
  3. Place squash on a baking sheet on parchment paper in a single layer.
  4. Roast at 425 for 25-30 minutes, flipping halfway through cooking.
  5. Season with Sea Salt and Cinnamon.
  1. Make 4 Servings
  2. 1 Serving = 4 SmartPoints
The Weight of My Weight
 I’d love for you to share some your favorite Squash recipes!


Okay, the weekend plans.

My mom has been packing for what seems like forever and is moving today, so the rest of the weekend will be filled with getting her situated in her new apartment. I’m thinking moving earns lots of activity points!! Hopefully the rain holds off. Who doesn’t love to move in a cold rain?? (Really big eye roll here.)

I hope you all have a great weekend planned that involves some beautiful views wherever you may be.

2017 Goals
Make time each week to Meal Plan
Drink 100 ounces of water each day
Exercise 5 days a week
Eat three meals and one snack daily
FOUR 100 Mile Walking Challenges this year! (This goal has changed a little now that I have this fabulous Fitbit.)

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

I’m In A Strange Place

November 3, 2017

Hi Friends…

The blog is lacking my attention and I am struggling with that a bit.

I am 9 weeks post op my double mastectomy and I have 6 weeks to go until my reconstruction surgery.

I’m In a Strange Place.

As most of you know, the blog is my journal. It keeps me accountable with the choices that I make. It encourages me to set goals. It lets me connect with people and it provides a place for me to vent when I feel the need.

I am having a hard time getting here to blog for a few different reasons.

Changing things up is what I do and how I roll. Variety is one of the things that keeps life exciting for me. I think the blog reflects that.

I like to set new goals, try new things, then blog about them in hopes that others find new things that they like to do and set new goals for themselves.

I have found that trying new things keeps living a healthy life easier for me because I keep myself entertained, and that keeps me from going back to old and unhealthy habits.

I blogged recently in a blog post titled, In Limbo, about this strange time during my mastectomy in August and my scheduled reconstructive surgery in December.

I’m still really struggling with this time that I find myself in.


I’m In a Strange Place

I’m trying so hard not to put life on hold, but no matter how hard I try, I find my mind thinking about certain things, and saying to myself….I’ll deal with that after surgery. I’ll set new goals after surgery. I’ll try new recipes after surgery. I’ll update the look of the blog after surgery.

I have shared that my weight is up from my comfortable 172 to an uncomfortable 182.

My surgery in December is a DIEP Flap reconstructive surgery. My genius plastic surgeon will make new boobs for me out of my belly skin, tissue and blood vessels. Obviously, I am so happy to be able to have breast reconstruction surgery following my double mastectomy and use my own body tissue, but the whole mental side of things has me in a strange place when it comes to my health goals. 

I understand it all, don’t get me wrong, but my life for years has been about counting points, doing what I can to feel my best, taking pictures of food and blogging about “how I’m doing” with my decisions.

I lose my appetite and my weight goes down a few pounds. I thing about my surgery and the need to have belly fat for everything to go as planned, and I eat a bit more.

I am going up and down between 178 and 183. 

My plastic surgeon would like for me to keep my weight at 182 or higher so he can use my belly fat for my upcoming surgery.

Now, instead of having goals that keep me feeling great, my “goal” is to maintain my extra pounds so I can have new boobs made out of my extra belly fat because I lost my old boobs to cancer.

Lets be honest.

I’m In a Strange Place


I can’t really think of a way to change things up for myself right now when it comes to exercise goals or food/recipe goals, nor do I have the motivation to care much about either. I still want to feel good, but the desire to set any goals just isn’t there.

I’m trying to keep active, but my body feels very uncomfortable and I am finding this time extremely frustrating.

I don’t seem to have much of an appetitive and coming up with pretty pictures and trying new foods is not as appealing right now as it has been in the past.

Those are the things that I blog about the most. Food and Activity, so obviously….

I’m In a Strange Place


I’ve been researching whether to have a hysterectomy or not.

My particular breast cancer is estrogen positive and feeds off of estrogen. Having a mastectomy does not guarantee that the cancer will not return. Eliminating as much estrogen from my body as possible reduces the risk of the reoccurrence of my breast cancer. Ovaries produce estrogen. Removing my ovaries completely would reduce the estrogen in my body and eliminate the risk of ovarian cancer. There is a family history of Ovarian Cancer.

I’m no doctor, but having a hysterectomy seems to make sense to me and I am okay with that if I think it could save my life down the road.

My plastic surgeon wants me to wait until after my DEIP Flap surgery so the blood vessels that he will be working with are not disturbed. Okay. Got it.

I have now seem my general practitioner and my OBGYN. They both agree that having a hysterectomy is a good idea and are behind that decision.

My oncologist would like for me to take a drug called Tamoxifen (basically an estrogen blocker) each day for 5 years. When I inquired about having a hysterectomy instead of taking the drug, he told me that he understood why I would want to take that route and that it was up to me.

I called my breast surgeon for her advice. She basically said the same thing that the oncologist said.

So now, I have a decision to make. Two doctors are behind me 100% and two of them tell me that they understand my concerns, and that I need to be the one to make that decision.

I know me. I always go with my gut.

Assuming insurance will cover that, I will plan to have a hysterectomy sometime in 2018, after healing from my DEIP Flap surgery.


I’m In a Strange Place

Looking at my body each day when I shower has become more emotional. This time in between surgeries has been too long and I find myself thinking that I will look this way and feel this uncomfortable physically forever.

I know that I won’t, but I am also learning that after my surgery in December, there will be several mini surgeries to perfect things. I’ll explain later, but let me just say that 2018 is going to be a long year and as much as I know that it will be worth it to actually have breast, it all sounds daunting right now.

I am trying to focus on setting goals for 2018 that will make me feel and look my best. After all, I am getting a tummy tuck out of this deal.

So, that’s where I’m at with the blog and life right now.

I’m In a Strange Place


It’s Not Just About Me

It’s been a tough year for several of my family members. So many things that I haven’t even blogged about. I’m trying to remember that even though I’ve had my own crap, a lot of my family (and friends) have had their own crap too and I want to be there for them.

My mom is moving next weekend and she has spent the last three weeks packing. I know that she is exhausted and I hope to spend my free time over the next several days helping her finish up and get moved.


No Worries

That being said, I’m actually in a pretty good mood.

I do light Yoga in my exercise room. I take short walks. I drink coffee like it’s going out of style and I’ve been more mindful of appreciating each day.

I’m looking forward to having our family all together for the holidays.

I hope you will all stick with me!

I can’t wait to get back to normalcy in 2018!

I’d like to get two blog post up each week just to stay in touch over these last two months of 2017.

AND….exciting things are coming soon for Weight Watchers and I can hardly wait to SHARE!!!


I Love Your Emails

I love hearing from all of you, so please feel free to keep sending me emails and commenting on the blog!


Six weeks to new boobs! 

2017 Goals
Make time each week to Meal Plan
Drink 100 ounces of water each day
Exercise 5 days a week
Eat three meals and one snack daily
FOUR 100 Mile Walking Challenges this year! (This goal has changed a little now that I have this fabulous Fitbit.)


“love the life you live, live the life you love”

I started writing this blog post on Friday afternoon, got side tracked, then never did make it back here!

What I had started to blog about on Friday is how much I love my Weight Watcher job and and my members.

Some of you may know that I was just hired by Weight Watchers and went through my training last December. Some of you also know that this is a job that I have thought about doing for a really long time.

My job as a WW Leader in some ways feels so new still because I am always learning, but in other ways it feels like I have been a Weight Watcher Leader forever. I’ve certainly been a member forever and I could talk WW talk all damn day. I was ecstatic when I was hired. I couldn’t believe I was finally going to be working for Weight Watchers doing a job I felt very passionate about. I was going to have the opportunity to connect with members and hopefully help them in the same way that my leader helped me.

My Thursday At Work group was my very first member meeting that was all mine. I wasn’t in training and I wasn’t subbing for someone. I was leading meetings that were assigned to me. My members made me feel very comfortable right from the start and never was I uncomfortable or nervous with this group. I think I saw myself in that role for so long that everything just always felt right.

My first group of members had their last meeting on Thursday. They have been a very successful group! They gave me the sweetest card (that they all wrote sweet messages in), a Target gift card (they know me so well) and a very thoughtful bar of soap! Some of the members told me that I inspired them and encouraged them to make Weight Watchers a Lifestyle.

I didn’t cry because I was trying to be all cool and leadery. It’s a word. Leadery. Well, it is now.

Anyhow, not only are they a sweet group of people, but this group gave me an awesome Leader experience. I shared with them last week that they were my first group of members, which as a Leader, you don’t really want to tell your members that you’ve never done this before. But I had to tell them how much I appreciated them for welcoming me, sharing like they do and making this job be everything that I hoped that it would be. By sharing at each meeting, they were helping each other learn a new lifestyle, work through their challenges together and they were celebrating each others success. That’s what Weight Watchers is all about!

Thursday was a great day because with all of the crap that has happened this year, it was a nice reminder that a lot of great things have happened this year too, and having this job is something I am truly grateful for.


The Weekend

On Saturday Mike and I went to our friends farm for the night and stayed for most of the day on Sunday. I love going there for a few reasons. I love my friends, it’s only about a 45 minute drive, each trip there builds new memories and it always feels like a mini vacay.

The weather was perfect. Sunny but cool. My phone doesn’t get service there, so I like that I can disconnect and unwind when I’m there.

I’m still not ready for 4-wheeling at the farm (one of my favorite things to do!), but I was all about sitting outside by the fire, roasting marshmallows and enjoying a few cold beers. We also had a really good time playing games. We did play one new game called “What Do You Meme?” It is somewhat like “Cards Against Humanit”y as far as being completely inappropriate. I laughed so hard I almost pee’d my pants.

Mike told me that his stomach actually hurt when we went to bed Saturday night from laughing so hard.

Now that’s a good time.

Mike tried something new this weekend.

Ear plugs. Check.


Safety lesson. Check.


Me….”Honey. Be careful. Tell us when you’re shooting.”


Me….”Oh crap. That’s the shoulder that just got sewn up!”


He hit his target!! Now he wants to buy a gun. (Insert eye roll emoji here)


It was a full Monday and after work I curled up in one of my new chairs with a big bowl of soup and we watched the Chiefs game.

I was curled up in this chair. We got rid of our two big living room chairs that the dogs had destroyed and picked out a couple of new ones last week. This is a chair and a half and I am loving it. I think the ottoman is just as big as the chair!


This is chair number two. I love how soft the fabric is on this one and how high the back is. Super comfy! Were ready for all of the kids and grandkids to come over!



Now, here are just a few of the yummy things that we have been eating over the last few days.

I’ve been eating my RXBars for breakfast and I haven’t been cooking as much lately.


These grapes. I love these grapes and I look for them every Fall. Have you had them? They make the perfect snack!


Roasted Butternut Squash. I love this as a side dish, or in a breakfast scramble, but mostly we eat it on top of the salad below.



This Fall Chopped Salad is amazing and we eat it no matter what the season!


I made soup last night and I have yet to actually write up a recipe for it.

I browned some Ground Turkey with celery and onions and garlic, added some Veggie broth, a few seasonings and veggies.

We topped this with freshly grated parmesan. Tasty and Hearty!


I hope you are all having a great week!

2017 Goals
Make time each week to Meal Plan
Drink 100 ounces of water each day
Exercise 5 days a week
Eat three meals and one snack daily
FOUR 100 Mile Walking Challenges this year! (This goal has changed a little now that I have this fabulous Fitbit.)


“love the life you live, live the life you love”