Feeling Fall 2020

Hello Fall. It’s nice to see you. I love your cooler temps and the beautiful colors you bring to Kansas City. I love the smells your season brings be it an outside fire or all things pumpkin spice. I love this tree just up the street. It’s always the first tree I notice changing colors in the neighborhood.

I have continued to eat whole foods and posted my second half of September but was fighting a few blog issues with my post. If you missed it you can now check out my blog post for Day 16-30, Whole Foods. I kept the whole month pretty simple as it reminds me that eating this way is not difficult after you discover what simple meals and staples works best.

This year, I love that the fall season means that we are that much closer to this particular year being over. There. I said it. Me that doesn’t like to wish time away. Can we just get this over?

That being said, we are keeping busy over here. I’m cooking fall flavors and continue with projects. The basement is now organized. It’s amazing how much stuff can accumulate!

I emptied the entire storage room into the finished part of the basement, went through every single box, made keep, trash and donate piles, and put it all back over a period of days.

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I can’t decide how I feel about the new kitchen color, but I do love the bright feel of the room so I decided to put a few things on the walls and live with this for a while. No hardware changes as of yet, just lightened up the room. Not certain what the next steps are.

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One of the things I find I miss most about pre Covid days is going out to listen to live music, so Mike and I met some friends in the parking lot of one of our old time favorites on Saturday night for some BBQ and Blues. Mike was looking forward to eating their BBQ and I opted to eat at home before we went. I did however enjoy a good beer while we were there.

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September has also been good for reflecting. As a person that admittedly spends waaay too much time in their own head, sometimes being in my own head works in my favor. I think it’s one of the reasons I knew I would enjoy camping so much. It’s a good time to relax and reflect. What’s working in life? Keep doing those things and build on them. What’s not working in life? What changes can I make in that area of my life? We spend the first 15 minutes of each WW Workshop reflecting and it can be such a powerful tool for each member if the time is taken to really consider what is and what isn’t working.

This unusual year has allowed me more time to get lost in my thoughts, whether I’m at home pondering my to do list for the day or sipping my morning coffee at the campsite. While camping I’ve been able to take the kayak out on the water, take long walks or simply stare at the lake or the sky. This unusual year has allowed for all sorts of opportunities to figure out what’s working and what isn’t.

Camping is working.

Camping reminds me of how much I enjoy no internet, no news and no emails. I took two camping trips in September. On one of my trips I took my mom with me for the first time. She has been wanting to go camping since I came home with Effie. I’ve been on several trips with my dad and stepmom and I know my mom was feeling like she was missing out. So I took her camping for her birthday in September to a spot that my brother recommended. She said it was one of the best birthdays ever, and I choose to believe her.

My second trip later in the month was alone at my favorite spot on the lake. I’ve now started referring to my time there as “time at the lake house”. My lake house is 11’x7′ and I’m perfectly content.

For such a small space I actually have a few different spots inside Effie where I like to sit depending on the view I want.

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These cooler mornings are the best for sipping coffee in that chair while looking at the lake.

I love the evenings in that chair as well.

On my last camping trip I decided it was time to make some decisions on a few things that I had been thinking about. I’ve been thinking of ways that I could spend less time on my phone and more time doing things that feel more productive and less stressful. Between the election and the news and feeling the need to keep up with what is going on in the world and in the community, it started to feel like it was consuming my mind more than it should have been. After watching the first half of the Netflix documentary The Social Delemma, I decided I saw more of myself in that documentary than I was comfortable with.

I decided to step away from the WW Ambassador program. I’d been thinking about it for the past couple of months. I’ve been very fortunate to be a part of that for 4 years but it felt like it was time to make a few changes. My role as a WW Ambassador and a WW Coach are two completely separate things, so this will not impact my WW job in any way. After making that decision, I had to ask myself, what is it that I am getting from Facebook and Instagram? I realized that what I was getting was tidbits of info about friends, likely misleading news and too much time scrolling and wasting time I could be spending elsewhere. I have phone numbers and emails of those I’m close with and for now I’ll rely on those and see if I can’t spend my time being more productive or feeling less stressed by constant information. If I decide to activate those social media outlets later, it’s the click of a button. For now, it feels right. For news updates, I’ll allow myself some time each morning to get an update on the latest and then pass on anymore news for that day.

The blog is what I enjoy and I never plan to stop blogging. It is my accountability tool that has worked the best for me and it is the tool that I hope continues to encourages all of you to be your best self.

So to wrap up what is and isn’t working, friends and family, camping and blogging are working for me and my social media outlets were not.

I’ve also spent much of September working on my body.

The Cliff notes of the next several paragraphs……I feel certain that taking Tamoxifen has messed with my body and I’m trying to reverse that. Feel free to jump down to the food part of todays post!!

I got my first prescription for contact lenses. I’m on week four and still struggling to just put the little suckers in my eye. My right eye goes in and comes out easily, but for some silly reason I struggle each day with the left eye. On the days I get them both in it makes the whole mask wearing much easier!

Now I’m trying to figure out why my whole body feels swollen and stiff and why the increase in joint pain over these last few months. Hips, knees, elbows, shoulders, but mostly hands and wrist.

I received my fourth cortisone shot over the last two years in my trigger thumb on Friday and the doc told me no more after this. Surgery is the next step. Ugh. I knew that was coming. Now four days later and this shot has not helped my thumb. I also am experiencing trigger finger in my ring finger and pinky on both hands. I’m currently in between appointments with the hand surgeon and a rheumatologist. Hopefully with the X-rays and lab work, there will be a plan.

Now on day 35 of eating Paleo (no sugar, no dairy, no grains, no legumes, no beans and eliminating all night shades – tomatoes, bell peppers, white potatoes, chili powder and paprika) I’m starting to notice a small decrease in the swelling in my hands, so thats great and hopefully a continued change in diet will help everything feel better.

No doctor will confirm this for me as apparently there are no conclusive studies in the US, but I feel like the Tamoxifen that I took after my mastectomy has played a huge roll in how I am feeling. The hand surgeon, the rheumatologist and my general practitioner all tell me that they have several patients that report developing the same symptoms as myself after taking Tamoxifen for a long period of time.

After having breast cancer in 2017, I was prescribed Tamoxifen to take once a day for five years to reduce the risk of cancer reoccurrence. Tamoxifen is an estrogen blocker typically prescribed to premenopausal women with estrogen positive cancer. When I was first making decisions about my cancer, I decided immediately to have a double mastectomy and to have a hysterectomy. I wanted the double mastectomy due to the high number of women in my family with breast cancer on my mom and dads side. I wanted the hysterectomy because one of the risk of Tamoxifen is uterine cancer and it just didn’t make sense to me to take a drug to prevent one cancer when it could cause another cancer. At the time it was a lot of information. I was also told all of the possible side effects of the Tamoxifen. Mostly, joint pain. Joint pain seemed worth it if it was going to reduce my risk of a cancer reoccurrence.

After my mastectomy, I started the Tamoxifen. 6 months later I had my hysterectomy and the put me on Arimidex, the estrogen blocker for post menopausal women. It was awful six weeks in. My hands were falling asleep daily and on the last day that I took it, I felt like there was a shock going through my arms from my middle finger tip to my elbow in each arm. I went back on the Tamoxifen. Within weeks my joints were hurting. Mostly my hips and knees. That year I would tear my meniscus and have surgery on my right wrist for diquervains tendonitis while also developing trigger thumb in the other hand in each and trigger finger in my ring finger and pinky on each hand.

Three years in my joints feel like that of a very old woman. I’m doing all the things I’m told to do. The things I know that I need to do for a healthy body. Moving more is one of the best things you can do for joint pain, so I move.

A few months back the pain seemed to increase along with a new and unusual swelling. At my last oncology appointment she said we could discuss stoping the Tamoxifen since the highest risk of reoccurrence is in the first two years and I’ve been taking it for three years.

Now, at first I thought this sounded crazy. Why would I stop? If I do stop and the cancer comes back, will I completely blame myself. Yes. Yes I will.

I was not eager to take the prescribed Tamoxifen in the beginning. After a few conversations with my oncologist and my breast surgeon, I started taking it. I stopped on July 1st as I became frustrated with the contnuous joint pain which has only increased over the three years. So now almost three months off of it, I’m still not certain I’ve made the right decision. I’m just wanting to feel my best.

I spent the month of September working hard on me and hopefully eating the way that I am, moving and realizing just how important a good nights sleep is for our overall health, things will improve and this new inflammation and joint pain will decrease.

Here are the meals and snacks so far for October!

I’ve been very mindful of my portions for the last month. Many of the foods that I am eating, I am keeping the portions small. Nuts and Avocados for example. Healthy foods, best to practice eating in moderation.

I’ve seen a variety of these Bare snacks and this Cinnamon Banana is one of my favorites.. Crunchy and sweet with only two ingredients. I’ve seen these at a variety of stores. I also like the Dark Sweet Cherries from Trader Joe’s. The only ingredients are the cheeries. They work great for a homemade trail mix and we love them on the Fall Chopped Salad in place of the dried cranberries, which I can never seem to find without added sugar.

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Loving all the varieties of nuts and seeds and you know I’m excited to see the pumpkin! Also perfect for my Keto friends.

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This is a great granola and I like to sprinkle it on fruit and add nut butter. Also good on its own but one of those small portion foods. I’ve bought this at Target and my local grocery store.

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Omelets seem to be the breakfast choice these last few days. Typically I have a side of berries with nut butter added. Sugar free bacon (Whole foods, Trader Joe’s, Target) is easier to find now than it was 5 years ago when I first gave this whole sugar free thing a go.

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I’m using these Primal Kitchen marinades for Chicken on the grill and while they do a great job of delivering a moist grilled breast, they lack a bit in flavor so I end up using Kosher Sea Salt after cooking. Love having so many Green Giant frozen varieties that include only the vegetables, nothing else added.

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I made the Paleomg Fall Harvest Chopped Salad this past week and ate in for dinner, then lunch and dinner the following day. It never gets old to me. This has been on rotation here now for five years. Have you tried it??

Last nights dinner, a big skillet filled with rotisserie chicken, sugar free chicken sausage, zucchini, mushrooms, red onion and sweet potato with a little McCormicks Montreal seasoning. We topped dinner with a soft boiled egg.

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So far this season I have only seen Delicata Squash at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s. It’s on the menu tonight. Have you tried Roasted Delicata Squash?

That wraps up the last few days.

I hope you’re all taking great care of yourselves.

Comment and let me know how YOU are doing! What’s working for you during these difficult months? What’s your biggest challenge?

I love the changing of seasons and this one is my favorite!

What is Fall like in your neck of the woods?

“love the life you live, live the life you love”